The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I liked your ending; it surprised me! You had hooked my emotions from the very start, and I waited for some change in the man to come. At the very end, I'd already given up on his salvation. Boy, it made me wonder if I do that in real life, too. Good lesson for us all...never give up on those recalcitrant folks. Thanks for sharing!
I'm glad Mr. Pennyworth found that "eye of a needle" he could go through. Your story is well-written. I was especially drawn to your details like: Midge's "heart-shaped face," Mr. Pennyworth's name, and your very-fitting title. Good work!
I love happy endings, and surprises, but also wish there had been enough words to share what, besides Midge's faithful witness and the Holy Spirit, had chiseled through his hardened heart at last. Nice work.
This is a great story and it's very well written. You have a wonderful way with words and did manage to put some nice humor in as well in the appropiate places. It reminded me of a sad, true story with not such a happy ending, where a pastor constantly tried to help a certain farmer to get saved, but he always said he would do it later. "One day, his team of horses got spooked and his wagon went down the hill, but he couldn't reach the brakes. Upon his deathbed all he could mumble were the words "I am on the downgrade, but I can't find the brakes."
A sad picture of stubborn carnal man who's on the downgrade in life and cannot always find the brakes either.
Your story however offered hope and is a great reminder to be faithful, like the little nobody girl, to reach out and just love for no other reason than love. Well done!
An excellent story. All credit to the secretary who consistently reminded Mr Pennyworth of the truth. We never know when our efforts are making a difference... like Faithwriter stories such as this.
Great story, so well done and you ended it so powerfully…for indeed, a relationship with Jesus is worth more than any riches this world may offer! I would have liked to imagine he was traveling to give some of his billions to the needy…but of course we leave the story knowing that faithful Midge would do good with his money. Really enjoyed the read!
I love your descriptive writing without having to use a lot of filler words. So well written. You have a powerful message regarding greed and religion.

Loved the ending!
Very descriptive and authentic profiling of your characters, and I like how you have sandwiched the story between the introduction and the close at the funeral home.
The word limit has obviated some of the details that would have thrown more light on Mr Pennyworth's inner journey, but you have captured what really matters.
This is a great story. Your ending, though I saw it coming, was still perfect. You do a wonderful job with using salsa words (as Jan of Jan's Writing Basics calls them. She is doing a lesson on description this week on the message boards. If you haven't checked her thread out, I'd really urge you to. It's for all levels and I think we all can continue learning get, but also you'd be helping others too by Shari get your insight. You really have a tender heart and I can feel your passion in all of your stories. You're quite gifted indeed, my friend. Congratulations on ranking 20th overall! Happy Dance!
Thank God for folks like Midge. How sad his employees secretly called him, "the steamroller." Great read, thanks!