The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/16/15
Interesting, well written and authentic sounding tale. Well done.

I enjoyed it.

God bless~
01/20/15
I have to say I was NOT sure what she was aching to do until she did it - but it definitely kept me reading. Great description and atmosphere. I was absolutely there. Nicely done!
01/20/15
The narrative was well written. I could see how she had become obsessed about creating a perfect meal. Three months married? Something has to change!
Ha! Oh how I love this. It was simply brilliant. You did a wonderful job of writing on topic in a fresh and hilarious way. Oh the pictures you created with your words were marvelous.

I noted two tiny things. I wonder if maybe you needed to clip the word count and that's why I was confused. I felt like his Mom was still alive, yet mostly you used past tense, which suggested she'd passed. Yet, the MC seemed to really know her even though she'd been married only 3 months. Maybe one simple line would have helped me understand. For example, He's still grieving and everyone gets put on a pedestal after they die, but on the other hand, she did seem nearly perfect. How will I ever measure up?
Okay that was more than a quick line, but I hope it shows what I was trying to say.

The other thing I noticed was the June Cleaver reference. It's possible not everyone, especially the current generation would understand that reference. I did a Little House reference once and was amazing that not everyone had read or watched it. I think you explained it well enough even for those who don't have a clue that TV used to be black and white.

You nailed the topic. I totally liked the idea of listing over those "innocent revenge" thoughts. Boy, did you nail it and the message is one I think we all need reminding of from time to time. Your message came through loud and clear. This was a great balance of showing vs. Telling. Your subtle sense of humor also really reinforces how something seemingly innocent can go so wrong. Congratulations on ranking 16 overall! Happy Dance!