Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Omnishambles (05/01/14)
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TITLE: My Secret to Confronting Wild Life | Previous Challenge Entry
By LINDA GERMAIN
05/07/14 -
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This thing I have learned to do can shrink the fear factor from nearly any pest, menace, or troublemaker and restore order. It’s a somewhat novel approach to facing out-of-control things that go bump in the night…or in the daytime.
Name it! Always.
Let’s say you see a little garter snake in your yard. Instead of rushing into panic mode, just say something like, “Listen, Sneaky McDougal, you get out of here right now! Your mother is probably worried sick.”
See? After a while, it’s kind of fun.
I may be a woman who talks to everything, but it works. Such a system to establish peace from chaos should not be ridiculed unless the naysayer has tried it.
Somehow, the bestowing of a name on something reduces its power to frighten and control us. Even when strange cats wander onto my porch I try to greet them.
“Hello, Fluffy/Garfield/Tom/Morris. Are you just passing by?”
As a kindness (in case they’re in the middle of a long trip), there’s always water available, even for non-cat visitors.
Scripture tells us we have authority over animals, and I’m not one bit shy about reminding them. I think they rather appreciate a straight-forward, calm response.
Every morning there’s a wonderful gathering of birds taking turns at the feeder outside the kitchen window. Two big raven ones often bully their way in and chase off the little guys. I don’t like that.
“Stop, Heckle and Jeckle! Please relocate at once.”
They do.
A young possum used to bang around on the deck at night, rummaging for who-knows-what. I would open the door and say, “Enough, Pogo…go find your ugly old lumbering mother and y’all make tracks!”
He would run, all the while hissing like a sassy kid (and yes, they can go fast, which makes one wonder why that doesn’t serve them better in the middle of the road).
“Never mind the impudence,” I would reply, “your nocturnal presence is creepy and keeps me from sleep. Go away!”
That may sound silly, but it always made me feel less disgusted by possum-on-the-clean-porch images.
Let’s say a big bear has plans to disrupt your peaceful campsite and relieve you of all essential edibles. Name him, confront him (but not too close), and tell him to leave ASAP.
“Hey, Ben/Yogi/Papa/Mama/Baby! Get out of here before I call Ranger Rick.”
That doesn’t mean he will, but perhaps he won’t smell the kind of human fear that might trigger his/her animal instinct to leave a terrible mess.
On the highway, if someone cuts in front of you or does some other annoying behavior when you’re not in the mood to exhibit patience, just speak aloud, even if you’re alone.
“Well, Suzy/ Joe/Aunt Myrtle/ Grandpa, you could be speeding to the hospital to a loved one, or in fresh grief over a death, or feeling ill and trying to get home, or distracted by some other devastating news. I PRAY for you right now.”
To defuse our tendency to sputter and fume and blister the atmosphere with not-nice language in the midst of road-rage conditions, just apply the name-it principle and watch how fast frustration is abated and potential pile-ups are avoided.
From insects and animals that bug us, to human strangers who do even worse, an identifying tag on each one will do wonders to neutralize the toxicity inherent in panic and knee-jerk reactions that can lead to out-of-control conditions.
With the cacophony in modern society and its ever expanding technologies that shake, rattle, and roll us to total distraction and possibly early graves, we need a simple personal response to help reduce escalating agitation or alarm and intercept any lurking omnishambling disasters.
Ceaseless, escalating noise from every direction, unwanted government scrutiny, stunning culture-changes, and increasing evil pounds on us daily. We can avoid adding more stress and fear from things that just happen to be in our view…but probably are not intent on hurting us.
As children of the King, we are not left helpless and defenseless. We have armor. Like good scouts, it is never foolish to be prepared. There’s very often a way of escape to those wise enough to see when an unwanted consequence is perched on the horizon with plans to consume and destroy.
Here’s one: Name it.
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I'm partial to possum, I think they are so cute, pink nose hissing and all! LOL.
It makes me sad to see them splattered on the road. I think squirrels might have them beat.
Anyhow, I digress. Your story was well written refreshing and entertaining.
God bless~