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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Day's End (01/01/14)
She didn't believe and she didn't really want to know
Tormented for over fifty years and angry about her life
She didn't want to hear about anything nor the endless testimonies

She turned everyone away from her door
The years had radically changed her demeanor and soul
She was notably aware of her poisonous personality and didn't care

She despised her hideous old and pathetic reflection
The accident replayed continuously in her mind's eye
She couldn't accept she had killed her beautiful girl and only child

She heard Elisa's desperate scream before she promptly perished
Working two jobs and long hours finally took its deadly toll
She fell asleep for one second that's all it took for devastation to be born

She anxiously tried to pull her from the self-encased fiery inferno
Her own flesh roasted in the futile yet valiant attempts
She sits and repeats if only when thinking about her huge sin

She screamed out to God over and over again since it took place
Why did this have to happen? Why her baby?
She currently was on the back nine of her life almost done yet not quite

She had many visitors and counselors since that horrific day
But none could help or soothe or make her forget
She's permanently enraged and engulfed in suffocating darkness

She was crying while berating and hating herself
When the room lit up and bathe her in a terrific white light
She was fully compelled to drop to her knees with hands raised up

She was radically consumed by a fire of warmth and pure love
His voice was powerful and loud yet a whisper at once
She smiled for the first time in fifty years as she listened to the loving Voice

She was fulfilled and became whole yet again
Her child was fine and doing well and happy in His loving care
She thanked Him and praised Him for coming to tell her about Elisa

She closed her eyes and breathed a huge sigh of welcome relief
The acceptance of Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior and friend
She was a new and completely changed woman that day's end
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This article has been read 987 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Nancy Bucca
01/10/14
Wow, what a powerful poem! It's jampacked with heartache, but doesn't dwell on it; instead gives way to glorious praise. I so love the way you ended this. Very well done.
Linda Goergen
01/10/14
So much detail packed into this poem! We often do not know what the hurt that makes a person become bitter. But love the ending message—It is never too late for anyone to reach out to God, until their last breath. Well done!
Danielle King 
01/10/14
Powerful stuff! My reading pace quickened as I so wanted a happy ending. I wasn't disappointed.
Jan Ackerson
01/10/14
I’d love to have your input into the free writing lessons available on the FaithWriters forums. This week’s lesson is on writing devotionals, and next week will cover writing on topic for the weekly challenge. Look for it at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67, or if you’re on Facebook, you can “like” Faithwriters Writing Lessons.
Lillian Rhoades 
01/10/14
What a great reminder of what God's love can do. One could feel pain and pathos throughout the poem. Consider avoiding the overuse of "She." To control where you would want the reader to pause, I suggest a few punctuation marks.



Dannie Hawley 
01/11/14
Totally awesome piece you've crafted here! First, I was gripped by the depth of the MC's grief. Next, I felt myself losing ground in her sorrow and just wanting to ask Jesus to come take hold of this fictional character. Then, the marvelous ending, which served to soothe the pain of participating in the MC's grief and sent my soul soaring to joyous heights. Very nicely done!
lynn gipson 
01/11/14
Oh my, you really hit a homerun with this one. Wow, I am shaking as I write this. So sad and then so heartwarming with Christ came and saved her. I can relate to the MC on being bitter and angry for over fifty years, but I did not lose my child. What a horrific event to overcome. Thanks for sharing your talent in such an awesome way.

Blessings, Lynn
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
01/12/14
You have a way of making the MC's emotions just pop off the screen and right into the reader's heart. I pray I never had to experience this for real and stopped and prayed for those who have. Well done.
PamFord Davis 
01/13/14
Raw Emotions... bitterness, sorrow, remorse, isolation, guilt. WOW! So glad the MC found peace in her encounter with God!

Wing His Words
Beth LaBuff 
01/16/14
What a powerful turn-around for her--from a chilling existence to one filled with Hope. He made all the difference. I loved what happened to her in the end.