The Official Writing Challenge
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Great example here. You caught the cocky team attitude so well, and the story ended perfectly.
Great descriptions - especially of the MC's emotions. A great example for the topic. I was right there.
Great story! I'm soooooo glad that coach stuck to his guns like that. Excellent example of the topic and a great POV.
Excellent writing and a valuable lesson taught.
Good lesson--good story--good writing
Oh...I was caught-up in reliving the heartbreak with him...I'm glad the coach stuck to his word. Your title is perfect. You've written this very well and illustrated a great verse.
When he swallowed his pride and spoke to his coach, that was probably when he scored his biggest 'touchdown pass' ever.
Nice job Cat... very nice :)
The emotions of the MC are so realistic and loved that he learned his lesson. Great job on topic!
Love the personality of this piece and it's realistic tie-in to the topic. There were several lines that rang clever in my mind, but this was my fav: My stubborn pride then turned me on my heel and walked me out of his office.. I also liked the bit at the end with his pride wanting to re-surface. Great stuff!!!!
Excellent writing! I can't stand football, but I hung on every word of this story--so obviously it transcends the surface level and grips the readers on the level of truth and emotion. Very, very good.
Great story (great title) and I got all caught up in what was going to happen. I became so involved with your MC I kept wanting to tell him to quiet down - even though I knew he had to play his part for the proverb's sake. Good one.
You definately captured the topic in this wonderful entry. I love the turn around in the ending. Well done.
I always said your writing is so natural and so I'll say it again, " Your writing is so natural." I also liked the personifications sprinkled throughout. You write a very clean and pure story every time!
This is such a great story for this topic. What a hard lesson! I like that the teen redeemed himself in the end. So often that's not the case.
This is a great story. In my opinion, the teen's voice seemed a bit too mature in a couple of spots. Overall, I enjoyed this well-written piece.
So glad he humbled himself for the next season. Glad the coach stuck to his guns, we need more of that.
I kid you not. You know the rules. No cigs, no sauce, no sex. No exceptions.

That sounds exactly like how a coach would talk to his players. I liked that line.

I also liked how you did this from a first person male perspective (while you are a female). I chose to do an entry from a first person female perspective, and I didn't know if it would turn out weird. I liked the challenge it gave me though, and you demonstrated here that it can be done very well.
This was good! I felt a little bad for Jackson, but he should have known. I loved the character of the Coach-and I'm glad that there was a second chance-once he was able to put his pride aside. You did well with the topic here. Even though I'm not big on sports, I was completely caught up in the story! ^_^
WOW! Excellence. I like to pick a favorite line, but there were so many great ones! Here is the first that really caught my attention.. I strangled on the word, on smoke still caught in my throat, on fear.
But there were SO many! Amazing job.
One of my favorite lines from this wonderfully written article. "Before Pride could make an encore".
What a great story teller you are with a very compelling message.
I'm so very happy for you!!! :)
YAY! Happy dancing for Cat. Good if only OUR High school would follow through on rules like this.
***Congratulations, Cat!*** ^_^
Congratulations on your EC, Catrina. I love football, and I really enjoyed this piece. A lot of self-absorbed athletes would probably benefit from reading this story. Good job with the topic.
Yeah, yeah, Yeah! A wondefrul place and E.C. ! It's time for you, Cat! Keep it going!