Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: BLESSED (03/07/19)
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TITLE: It's the Little Things | Previous Challenge Entry
By Tricia Draper
03/13/19 -
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“Come here, sweetheart. Mama needs some loving,” Angela said as she plopped down in a kitchen chair. She kicked off her shoes and stretched her legs onto the chair across from her. She picked up Kiki and set the dog in her lap.
“I’m so glad it is Friday. I had a rough day, girl! Susi from work was spreading lies about me again today. She had most of the office turned against me just because I actually do the work I’m supposed to. I know she just wants the promotion I am supposed to get. It’s hard having everyone look at you like you are a pariah. What do you think, Kiki? Is Mama a terrible person?” Angela loved having someone to talk to that would always take her side and love her no matter what.
“I really miss Logan, too. I know it’s only been a month since he left for college, but it’s pretty lonely being here in this apartment without him. Now, I only have you left to commune with, and no offense, you don’t always have the best input.” Angela smiled as she picked up Kiki and hugged her. “I am glad you are still here, though. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Kiki licked Angela’s face. She had no idea what Angela was saying, but she loved the attention.
Angela stroked Kiki absently as she lay back down in her lap. “What am I missing? I am so stressed all the time. I feel there is a piece of the puzzle that is unfinished in my life.”
Angela thought back on the past week. She remembered what the Missionary from Haiti had spoken of last Sunday morning in church. “What was it that he said?” Angela wondered aloud. “It was something he sang every day.” She thought hard. “Oh, I remember, he said it was:
“I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed.
When I wake up in the morning
until I lay my head at rest,
I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed.”
“He said he had several schools to help the children in his village, but all they had to eat was rice and beans. I know they are all grateful for that, but I can’t imagine eating only that every day.” Angela looked down at Kiki and said, “You eat better than that!”
“He also said his village just got running water. Wow! I can take a shower as many times a day as I want. If he says he is blessed, what right do I have to complain about so many little things? It looks like I need to get my priorities straight.”
Angela bowed her head and closed her eyes. “Dear God, please help me see You in every situation and realize how blessed I truly am. You provide me with all my needs; food, finances, family and friends. Thank You for all Your wonderful blessings. Help me not take You for granted anymore. I love You. Amen.”
As soon as Angela prayed that prayer, she felt a huge weight lift off of her shoulders. “Kiki,” she said, as she lifted her dog to look at her face to face. “From now on I am going to count my blessings and be more positive. Thanks for the great pep talk!”
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Excellent, free flowing and such a great read. Of course I love anything that has "animals" in it.
So many of us speak to our "fur babies" --- they are a great "ear" for us aren't they?
Thanks for sharing,
Blessings~
Be careful of POV shifts. You had one spot where you jumped into the dog's thoughts. Instead of saying the dog had no idea, try something like: Kiki licked Angela's face and cocked her head. Even her ears perked up. Angela giggled and thought, <i> It's like you're trying to decipher my words.</i>
This is all from Angela's POV, describing what she sees through body language, dialog, and thoughts.
Overall though, you've done an awesome job. The ending was great. I especially like how you included the prayer because not everyone knows how to pray.