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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: ANNOYED (04/05/18)
Lord,

You know how ashamed I was about being so annoyed with my mother, so what is this thing in me that is reacting to my daughter the same way? Even though we see each other only once or twice a year, in less than 24 hours I am so annoyed I don't know how we will last for three days.

This is crazy. I loved Mom and I know she loved me. More importantly, we both loved You and wanted to please You.

Mom acted as though she thought I was her best friend. I didn’t want to disappoint her but I did not like her expectation that I would do and like and say whatever she wanted. I wanted to run. It took me weeks to regain my emotional equilibrium after a visit.

I tried to honor her, so she did not seem to notice my frustration because I smiled on the outside - while I was clenching my teeth. I made an excuse to leave the room and found a corner where I could make a face as screwed up as my ugly emotions and let out the groan I did not want Mom to hear.

Now I'm the mother with a daughter that I see two or three times a year. I love my daughter and know she loves me. We both love You and want to please You. I’m eager to know her as an adult and for her to know me. I want us to be friends just like my mother wanted with me, but my daughter doesn't hide her annoyance with my expectations of her. I don’t want her to dread visiting me like I did Mom, so I remain quiet. I think I am hiding my pouting but she always calls me on it.

I was shocked when at my daughter’s house I found myself facing a corner and making an ugly face and feeling sorry for myself. Such deja vu! That’s when it dawned on me that my mother may not have been the problem. My daughter was not the problem. The problem was me.

You are a father, Lord. You understand a parent’s desire for our children to be eager to enjoy what good things we plan for them. You don’t want us to groan - silently or aloud. I need your help to be as patient and forgiving with my groaning daughter as you are with me. And Lord, help her be patient with me.

Jesus, you are a son. When you struggled with doing what your Father knew would bring good, you set the example by groaning, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”

Help! I can see that being annoyed is simply wanting what I want. May my groans come from longing to trust and obey You, not from wanting to escape.

Thank you for letting me be honest with You about my feelings and then guiding me to work out the answer to my question. When Mom eventually came to live with me because Alzheimer’s had taken away her power to control anything, she happily did whatever I suggested. When she did what I wanted I was no longer annoyed with her. Lord, I am not proud of that victory over annoyance. I don’t want my contentment to be based on my will being done, but on delighting in Your wise and good will.

Help me to be like Jesus, of one mind and will with You, Father.

Amen

Influenced by reminders of Luke 22:41-42 and Matthew 6:10
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This article has been read 793 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jude Harris 
04/12/18
I’m sure many can relate to this! Well done with topic.
Taryn Deets
04/15/18
Nice take on the topic, and one many mothers of daughters can relate too.
Dennis Gallemore
04/15/18
Good job!
C D Swanson 
04/16/18
Well done, nice job with the topic.

Blessings~
Cassandra Leighton
04/20/18
This is a great piece of writing, both in its concise readability and in its emotional honesty. It's difficult to come to the Lord like this. I admire your ability to share it with others.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
04/20/18
I truly enjoyed this heart-felt prayer. I can totally relate. My mom used to call me and complain about Grandma. I'd laugh and say in twenty-five years, I'll be calling my daughter and complain about you! I also said I was sure my daughter would complain about me some day. My mom didn't live long enough for me to complain about her to my daughter. Sounds silly because I miss so much about Mom, but I also miss something I never had--me calling my now adult daughter and complain to her. Seems silly, but like you pointed out so well God gets it because Jesus was human and able to feel human emotions.
You did a great job. Congratulations on ranking 2nd in your level and 14 overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
Bonnie Kronberger 
04/30/18
Excellent writing. A whole lot of emotions succinctly written. Beautiful wording to describe your ugly emotions, and great development of the groaning theme, bringing it back to Jesus groaning. Impressive writing on a difficult subject.