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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Escape (01/02/06)
In
A flash,
Suddenly.
It will happen.
The dead will rise first,
Then those alive in Him.
In a twinkle of an eye,
We shall all be caught up in the air.
We shall be changed, mortality clothe
With immortality, the trumpet call;
The Lord Himself will descend with a shout
That sown in dishonour, raised glorious
Death, last enemy, defeated.
Grave, where is your victory?
Death, where now is your sting?
He swallowed up death
In VICTORY.
God the Son
The Lord
Wow!



Note from Challenge Coordinator

Unfortunately, this entry had to be disqualified as it was under the minimum word count allowed (which is such a shame). The minimum count for challenge entries is 150 words. This entry was 84. I hope you'll enter again in the future.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Sandra Petersen
01/09/06
I've seen this type of poem but have never been able to carry it out myself: each line increasing by one syllable and then decreasing by one syllable to the end. The line "We shall all be caught up in the air." had one too many syllables to fit the pattern; perhaps take out the word 'all'? The next line "We shall be changed, mortality clothe" should end with 'clothed'.The next three lines have ten syllables apiece: "With immortality, the trumpet call; The Lord Himself will descend with a shout That sown in dishonour, raised glorious", but then the next line has eight. Suggestion: "That sown dishonoured, raised glorious." Then the line has nine syllables. The rest of the poem follows the established pattern.
All that noted, I was so sorry to see that this poem was under the word count. I believe it could have placed.
What a beautiful way to remember that for which we are all watching and longing. Blessings to you!
Marilyn Schnepp 
01/14/06
I'm SO sorry this didn't get the running! It is the first time I've seen the TRUTH about death and the resurrection printed for the public to read...in a long, long time! It is written, just as you write in your beautiful way, that we do return to dust and sleep until the resurrection. In fact, one suggestion: Put a footnote with the Bible passage so that Readers can read it for themselves. A Very Nice way of writing...I loved it, and sorry about the disqualification!
Maxx .
01/15/06
wow ... visually appealing in addition to the wonderful message. I really liked this! Guess it would have been a little tough to add a few more words without messing up the rest!
Beth Muehlhausen
01/16/06
A truly remarkable entry. Very powerful; I was spellbound!!