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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: WEEKEND AWAY (short vacation) (07/23/15)
I was a mean spirited big sister. One story is told over and over.

"Sister! I found your doll!" I yelled from the bedroom. Hearing her running down the hall toward the bedroom, I ran to the closet and waited. She came barreling through the door and stopped in front of me. Pointing to the closet trap door, I said sweetly, "It's down there, go get it."

She whined, "It's dark down there, I don't want to."

"Okay" I said, "It will have to stay down there" and I reached over to close the trap door.

"Wait!" she yelled. "I'll get it." She began crawling down into the dark hole that led under the house. She jumped down and SLAM! I dropped the door down. Screaming ensued and I ran outside and hid from my mother. I don't have to tell you how much trouble I was in that day. It wasn't too long after that, that my favorite black monkey with a yellow banana disappeared. I never found that monkey.

Many years later, as adults, I apologized many times for that moment. We can laugh about it now. We have been through a lot together, she and I. We were roommates in the college years and bridesmaids at each other's weddings. We took snow ski trip vacations together and were there for each other when our children were born. Most recently we were together for the birth of her grandchildren and the two of us helped her daughter through labor and delivery. Those are all precious memories.

When the walls start closing in and the daily life stressors are reaching its limit, it's natural for us to need some sistertime. So we planned a short weekend trip to the big City. It is the first time in a long time it's just been the two of us without our big clan. The three hour road trip seemed short as we talked and laughed the whole way.

We strolled many miles around the riverwalk and downtown. Surrounding us were many levels of shops, restaurants, waterfalls and people from all walks of life. It was a very diverse and energetic atmosphere.

We dodged the little kids as they ran ahead of their parents. We passed by a young couple sitting under a tree; he played his guitar as she looked at him with a smile. We watched as other tourists snapped their photos and recorded their videos. We heard many different languages and accents; Chinese, Vietnamese, Mexican, Australian and Middle Eastern. The sound was like a well tuned orchestra. One of my favorite scenes was an elderly taxi driver, as he sat with the driver's door open and played his violin. The sweet music lifted in the air and floated away as I walked past.

The weekend getaway is another one for the memory books. The good food, laughter and conversations only sisters can have is good for the soul.
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This article has been read 778 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
lynn gipson 
08/01/15
You remind me of my big brother, the time he locked me in the meat cellar at my grandmother's house.

This is very well written and leaves me with a smile. I would like to read more of your work.

Great job.
Danielle King 
08/01/15
I longed for a sister but all I got were brothers - it's just not the same! However, I enjoyed your account of the trip to the big city with your sister. Those are precious memories to look back on someday.
Cindy Duncan
08/02/15
I have a brother who is only a year older than me, and he tortured me plenty growing up. Your story is so real, because it reminds us that even though we fought with are siblings, we have that bond that will not be broken. I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for sharing.
Noel Mitaxa 
08/02/15
A very warm and enjoyable read about how time changes our perspectives - and our sibling relationships.
Zacharia Fox
08/02/15
What a charming (and real) relationship you've painted! I am the oldest of eight of this story feels familiar to me:) Thanks for sharing
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
08/03/15
You do a nice job of showing the special relationship of sisters. I enjoyed this because it is different from other stories I have read.

I appreciate that you started out with a conflict right out of the box. That's a good thing to do. You did start out with a passive sentence. Instead, you might want to consider making it active with something like this: I cringd as I recalled my mean-spirited attitude towards my sister when we were kids. One time, I snatched her doll out of her arms and taunted her.
I tried to use active verbs that help the reader visualize the scene. Also remember to use hyphens when stringing words together to make an adjective such as a three-hour-long trip or well-tuned orchestra.

Overall, I enjoyed the fresh take on the topic. The bond between the sisters is sweet, especially since there were problems growing up. It encourages others that even old wounds can be healed with God's help, a sincere apology, and the right attitude. I believe this delightful story will encourage others to work on past broken relationships. Nice job.
C D Swanson 
08/03/15
Makes me smile as I read your words. And, I had just hung up from speaking with my older sister who ironically said, "No matter how many years or how far we live from each other, the bond stays forever..."

Excellent job.

God bless~
C D Swanson 
08/06/15
Congratulations!

God bless~