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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: FAMILY VACATION (07/30/15)
Jeb was a simple man. Some who saw only the outside of him might even judge him unintelligent. That, however, could not be further from the truth. Those of us who knew him, his friends, family and neighbors, were privileged to know such a man. Jeb was actually a wise, learned, hardworking farmer. He was also a man of compassion. He and his family had taken in twenty two young hurting kids at one point or another, some for a weekend, some for much longer. Lastly, Jeb was a man of prayer, and this is the story I want to tell.

It all began one hot humid morning. I believe it was around the first of August, 1995. The early sun was shrouded in a package of haze. Any farmer knew it would be a hot one. Jeb was with his boys and two foster kids, watering the stock early.
“John, don't forget to let the Jerseys out in the east pasture. There's plenty of shade trees for them.” Jeb directed his oldest son.

“Yes Pa, I'm headed there now.” John responded.

After the animals were fed and watered, everyone returned to the house for a hearty breakfast. Their was the usual chatter, followed by quiet as everyone ate all they wanted. Breakfast was followed by morning prayers. Jeb always said that it didn't do one much good, if they fed their bodies and not their souls. So, out came the bible, and the reading, then the days plans.

"I wanted to hay the last field, but I can't help shake the feeling the Lord wants us to take some family time off. I'm going to go see if Henry and Jim would cover chores for us, and we could head over the mountain to Simms Lake and do some camping. How does that sound to every one?”

No one spoke. They were in a state of shock. Jeb take a family vacation?
“That sounds pretty good to me! Wow, a family outing together! I'll start packing the food.” Nancy spoke excitedly.

The boys jumped up from their chairs and did a little jig.
“Come on guys, lets get packed up.” John encouraged the two foster boys that were visiting.

“You mean, you want us to come too?” questioned the dark haired quiet one, who went by the name J.D.

“Of course we do,” Jeb answered, his eyes shining with light, “you're family.”

“Whoopie!” they shouted in unison and ran to their rooms.
~ ~ ~

The campfire grew dim, bellies were full, and a sweet sleepiness took over. The boys headed to their tents. Jeb looked up at the vast expanse of twinkling lights dancing in the night sky.

“I don't know why I felt so strongly about this trip, but I know it was the right thing to do. Looking up at the extravagant beauty above us, I am moved to tears at the great and unconditional love of God. He cares so much for us. Did you see how those boys are starting to come around now? They came here with their lives like broken walls all a mess around them. We get the privilege of seeing God begin to restore them, rebuild them. put things back together for them.” He sighed.
~ ~ ~
Reluctantly the family headed home, as they rounded the last bend and came into sight of their farm. A gasp and shock took hold. It was gone. Every last wall, strewn about as if it were matchsticks.

Jeb stopped the car on the hillside and they all got out. Nancy placed her hand over her mouth. Tears filled Jeb's eyes. The boys were speechless.
Finally Jeb turned around and took a deep breath. Everyone bowed their heads, and held hands.
“We thank you, Lord of heaven and earth. You hid us in the palm of your hands, and protected us in the storm. Together we will rebuild all of the fallen walls. Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Everyone said amen, and that is what we did. We rebuilt the farm, one board at a time. I know, because I was there. I was one of those foster boys. From that vacation on, I knew I was part of a family, God was my Father, and more than fallen walls were restored that day.
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This article has been read 821 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
08/06/15
Excellent job! You approached the topic in a creative and deeply absorbing fashion!

Well done.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
08/09/15
I enjoyed this story. I admit I saw the ending coming, yet I was still eager to keep reading. I have no doubt that God does things like that every day, probably every second. I've often wondered what would have happened if the phone hadn't made me a few minutes late. It's a profound message and one we all need to remember more often.

I don't think you needed the opening get paragraph. Instead, I might encourage you to jump right in with the action. The reader would have understood the type of man Jeb was by your descriptions and dialog. I kept wondering who the MC was and was delighted to find out in the end. In my opinion, if you had shown the boy's emotions and thoughts right off, it might have had an even greater impact. This is just an example of what I mean: As a twelve-year-old kid being shuffled about the foster system in the 90s, I quickly learned not to trust anyone... until I met Jeb.
Just by doing something like that in the beginning, it would show the conflict right off, introduce the MC, and show that Jeb was special.

I definitely liked your take on the topic, and how Jeb made a point of making the foster kids feel like family. Your story urged me to stop and pray for the foster kids who ache for a family. You did a great job highlighting an important message. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
08/13/15
I'm so happy to see this at the top of level three and in the EC win too! Congratulations! Happy Dance!
Bonnie Bowden 
08/15/15
Like daughter, like mother. Congratulations on your 9th place EC award, Amy. I enjoy reading your stories. I do agree with Shann about getting right into the story, but this piece was well-written overall.