The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
08/06/15
Oh my goodness it was as if my sister wrote this story!!

Same words when she goes to see her granddaugther four states away, and same words when she knows the days are dwindling down!

I just read it to her and she was crying listening to it!

Thanks for sharing...excellent job with the topic.

And, don't worry Thanksgiving is right around the corner!

God bless~
This is a sweet story, and one I'm sure your family will treasure for years. I became a grandmother in May and my granddaughter lives an hour away, so I don't see her nearly enough. I can't imagine if she lived four states away.

I noticed a few missing commas after an introductory phrase and before conjunctions separating two independent clauses. For me personally, the descriptions of her clothes was a bit much for me. I'd prefer action, but you did do a great job of painting a picture. I'm sure Josie will treasure it as she looks at pictures.

The love for your granddaughter is palpable and really tugged on my heart. You did a nice job of writing on topic. I enjoyed the spark of hope at the end. It left me with a warm, sweet feeling.
What a lovely snapshot of a loving family!

I think there were a few missing commas, but other than that, really great description. Thanks for sharing this precious memory.
08/11/15
EMOTIONAL!!!! I'm a mess at good-byes as well! I fall to pieces... I loved your descriptions of the little girl!!!!! It really brought out her innocence and made the reader fall in love with her:)
Congratulations on your HC! Well written and delightful . . .