The Official Writing Challenge
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This is beautiful. I loved how you8 slowly increased the tempo until the very last example and the message rang loud and clear.

The only red ink I noticed is when describing a car you used it's instead of its.

This engaged me from the very first sentence until the end. My heart stopped when the guy stopped and offered her a rife home. I was sure something terrible would happen and was pleasantly pleased when it didn't. Great writing.
My thoughts match Shann's exactly. I also worried about the ride from a stranger, but soon saw that wasn't the point. Loved your message, enjoyed the flow. Sweet, beautiful, and filling.
Greetings -

Thank you. This is sweet and precious.
This was a really good entry and so well written I almost forgot it was a story. I felt like I was watching it unfold live.

Thanks. GOD Bless~
Good illustrations - all of them. You gave us the true view of riches.
Your build-up, interjecting "He was rich" throughout the story was masterful. I really enjoyed this walk through the MC's life and found the conclusion powerful. Great work here!
One of my favorite entries. I absolutely love this. Well written, tender and touching. Good job! God bless!
I like the plot and the way you walk through the story step by step, and eventually leading to what counts the mostriches in eternity through faith in Christ. An excellent piece!