Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Adulthood (07/30/09)
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TITLE: I Want a Four-Wheeler | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kaylee Blake
08/04/09 -
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I realize that most people would assume such a whiny statement would have come from a child, or maybe a very young teen, not looking forward to puberty, however, I’m not either. And I really did mean every word. Oh, and I’m nineteen.
My fiance just rolled his eyes. He learned long ago (which was actually only weeks), not to flat out panic when I made such ridiculous statements.
“I mean really…do you realize what they’ll do to me? They’re gonna poke me and prick me and take my blood and insist that I go on the pill…can’t we just stay engaged forever so I don’t have to go…? Pleeee…”
Before I could finish my persuasive argument, a resounding “Heck, no!” burst from his mouth.
OoooK…that was his don’t-argue, no-joking voice. So I kept my mouth shut…well, just enough to stick my tongue out at him.
Against my better judgment, I decided to push it just a little. Cuz I could. “Well, then, what if we got married next July and rented an apartment or something for, like, a month and half, or whatever, and then we come back to school. And, ya know, you go live your dorm, I’ll live in mine…we can hook up for a weekend in a hotel once in a while…”
“Cara…no.”
I stomped my foot. If the “whiny child” approach didn’t work, then maybe the temper tantrum would.
“But married people have no fun…”
“Really? Cuz I thought they had a lot of fun…”
“No, not that…I mean, they grow up. They become…” I shuddered for effect “…adults. They get old, they don’t have fun, they get jobs, they have kids, they yell at the kids, the kids are brats, they work more, the kids get brattier…they have no fun. They gotta be responsible. There’s no spontaneity, no adventure! Life’s more fun without worrying about the future.”
“Honey, are you having second thoughts about getting married?” Forget what I said about learning not to panic…there was alarm in his eyes now.
I sighed...I might be pretty free-sprited, but I do know when to sober up. “No…not really.”
“What does that mean?!”
“No, sweetheart, I’m not. I just…I dunno, it’s a big step, I’m still young…I want to marry you, but it’s still kinda scary. It’s new, it’s change…I don’t know if I’ll be good at this married stuff, I’ve never done it before.” I suddenly felt very small and my voice lowered. “I’m just a little scared. I’m not used to being a grown up yet, and now I’m supposed to have a house and a husband to take care of, before too long. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you.”
The panic in his eyes, faded and was replaced by something that seemed like a combination of relief and love and…was, it understanding? Gently…ever so gently, for a his lack of prior experience dealing with overreacting, slightly mad, somewhat obsessive fiancees…he lifted my chin with one hand and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear with the other. “Baby, I know you are going to be a wonderful wife. You really can’t fool me…you’re a lot more mature than you want people to think.” He grinned. Oh, how I love that grin… “You’ll figure it out, you always do. Do you think I know anything about being a husband?”
That made me grin.
“But it’s ok, we got time to figure it out…I mean, we’ve hardly even started to plan our wedding.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him, snuggling up against his shoulder to hide my tears. “I just don’t want to let you down…” my voice broke despite my best efforts against it.
He held me, not saying anything for a few minutes. After I composed myself a bit, he whispered in my ear, “I love you…we might get upset at each other and we’re both gonna make mistakes, but I’ll always love you.” That smile again. “No matter if you grow up or not.”
I laughed softly. But I still had to clear my conscience. “Geoffrey…there is one more thing....”
“What’s that?”
“I still want that four-wheeler…and maybe a baby giraffe.”
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BUT other than that...I kept reading...couldn't stop! You grabbed me at the beginning and kept me wondering what was going to be said next the whole way through!
AWESOME WORK!
May God bless you and keep you writing!
Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship
I get the dilemma...youth, adult.
mona
As a 17 year old who has been good friends with another 17 year old who just got special permission from court in Australia to get married underage, I can see a big maturity difference between my friend and your character. I like how they are being honest and both admit their immaturity but I wouldn't be letting her get married if she was my daughter.
I'm late leaving a comment on this because I just joined Faithwriters,but wanted to say I like it. it's so good - because you are able to express the feelings in good dialogue - that's not easy.
God Bless,
Flora Sawyer
Flora