Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Write something suitable for CHILDREN (05/31/07)
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TITLE: First Grade Conversation With God | Previous Challenge Entry
By Rachel Burkum
06/05/07 -
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“First grade is harder than I thought. Today, Rob made fun of me. He said I wasn’t smart. When I was on the playground with Maddie, she pushed me and I fell. I tried not to cry, but I did anyway. At lunch, someone took my cookie. I don’t even know who it was. If You saw him, would You please tell him to be nice?
“Then, Miss Thatcher asked a question in math. I thought I knew the answer. But I was wrong. Some of the other kids laughed at me. Miss Thatcher said that it was okay, but it still didn’t feel good.
“When I got on the bus to go home, Amanda wouldn’t let me sit with her. I guess she didn’t like the way I dressed.
“Tonight, I wanted Daddy to play a game with me. But he was in his office and he got mad when I bothered him. Mommy didn’t let me help cook supper either. She said she was in a hurry.
“I don’t feel very happy tonight, God.
“Do You think I’m not smart? No one seems to like me. Will I ever have friends? Do Mommy and Daddy love me?”
“Dear Katie, it’s me again…God. You know…from Heaven where everything is beautiful. I heard your prayer tonight. Thank you for talking to me.
“I am sorry that you don’t feel good. People make fun of me sometimes, too. They laugh at me. I know that it hurts. Sometimes people don’t do the things they should. But we will love them anyway, won’t we? Maybe if we love them, they will love us back.
“And you know what? You are very special to me. I knew you before you were even born! And guess what else. You are smart. It’s okay that you missed a math question. That is how you will learn.
“I know your daddy and mommy were very busy tonight. They had a lot on their minds. But they take very good care of you, and they love you just like I do!
“It is your bedtime now, Katie. Go to sleep and dream sweet dreams. Remember that I am with you, wherever you go. You can talk to me any time, and I will always listen. I am here to help you, and I love you very, very much!
“Oh, and Katie…it was Jimmy who took your cookie. But I bet if you take an extra one for him tomorrow, you two can be friends.
“Goodnight, my child. Sleep tight.”
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Great story...I could really feel her pain. I loved God's answer. I especially liked it when she learned who took her cookie.
I think you're missing some quotation marks at the end of several lines...good work...dave
There were a few points where I thought she was a bit too articulate for a first-grader, but nothing major. The main idea--that God hears and responds to our prayers--is loud and clear, and very precious.