Already, But Not Yet. | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Already, But Not Yet. | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jenny Miller
02/16/19
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She should be here already.

Her name should be etched in stone. She was His adoring servant, always standing at the ready for any task He assigned her. How could He keep her bound in a failing body? We prayed for her healing, but it never came. We prayed for the pain to subside, but it persisted. She was trapped in the broken shell of who she was and didn’t remember any of us.

My heart ached as I stood before my grandfather’s grave. It had been five years since he passed. Grandma’s health began the quick decline soon after. It was as if her heart, being grafted into his, was dying a slow and painful death without him. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. She should be here. How could the God she loved allow this suffering? My heart broke each time I realized the reality of her situation. She doesn’t even remember her own name.

“But she remembers mine,” His still, small voice pierced through my thoughts. “And I remember hers. I have already won the victory over death and the grave. I won the victory over suffering and pain. She will also win. She has already, but not yet.”

The words ripped at my insides. ‘Already, but not yet.’ When, Lord? When will not yet become now? What’s the use of this terrible suffering? What glory can you possibly receive from the agony of this disease?

We, her family, begged God to spare her any further affliction and take her home. Months passed as we watch her slip away slowly and painfully. Time seemed to stand still as her life was ending. The once lively redhead was a shadow of her old self, barely able to open those beautiful blue eyes.

Through the death of my grandma I learned that the Father of lights doesn’t just sweep life away. Life does not merely end. He has coordinated every moment with His all-knowing mind. He masterfully orchestrates our transition like a beautiful symphony. Sometimes we, the spectators, are allowed to watch the mystery unfold.

“It’s time,” the doctor said.

I watched from afar as the symphony came to an end. My mother and her sister were by her side, holding her hand and saying goodbye when it happened.

For the first time in weeks, she turned over and opened those beautiful blue eyes with a look of elated wonder. It was as if she was looking into heaven as it opened up for her arrival. Her blessed Savior was holding out His hand, ready to take her over the threshold into eternity.

Therein lies the win.

Already, but not yet had become right now, forever. The pain was gone, the overwhelming suffering of the past was traded for unspeakable joy and the fullness of glory forever. Her pain was a pale comparison to the immeasurable joy that was now set before her in eternity.

As I stand before the name which is now etched in stone next to the love of her life, I am reminded my God is faithful. He sees and He cares. When it seems like He isn’t moving, I remember the masterpiece that is the life He created. I remember those words and am comforted. Already, but not yet.

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