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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: MAIL (02/18/16)
Rushing through the halls of Austin High School, Beth was dodging in and out of kids trying to get to her biology class before the bell rang. Another tardy and she would be entertaining some serious detention time. She just made it across the threshold of Mr. Brannon’s class as the sound of the bell rang.

Sliding into her seat, she pulled out her green Biology folder and the assignment for the day. Mr. Brannon wasted no time continuing his discussion about cell division and the physical features of a chromosome.

Beth’s mind was not on cell division or chromosomes but on the upcoming prom. All she should think of was this peach chiffon gown with sequins on the top she had on layaway at a local boutique. She already had her purse, matching peach shoes, and long white gloves. Prom couldn’t come fast enough.

Beth worked part-time at a lamp factory that was owned by her best friend’s dad. She knew they were struggling financially but was taken by surprise when they told her they were closing the door. She lived with her mom and knew there was no extra money for things like prom dresses.

On her way home, sitting on the bus with shredded tissues in her hand and mascara smudge under her eyes, Beth was trying to figure out a way to finish paying for the prom dress. She didn’t want to burden her mom or make her feel bad so she decided to write her dad and ask if he could help. Beth’s dad lived in another state and had problems of his own but it was her last chance to wear the beautiful peach gown and walk in on the arm of her longtime boyfriend, Mike.

Beth waited and waited for a letter from her dad but it never arrived. Just before the prom, she broke the news to Mike that she wasn’t able to go, without telling him why. He kissed her forehead and told her he was so relieved, he really hated to get dressed up in a monkey suit.

She went to the little boutique and told the lady she would not be able to finish the payments on her gown. The sales girl said she would talk to the manage and she if she could get a refund on what she had already paid. She returned the purse and the gloves but she couldn’t return the shoes, they had been dyed to match the purse. For years those shoes were a sad reminder.

Days after the prom, a letter arrived from her dad apologizing for not remembering the letter and the request for some assistance so she could attend prom. He went on to say that it was probably a good thing she didn’t go because he felt the world was in a state of chaos, with the “hippy movement,” the Viet Nam war, and the recent assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, he felt she was safer not going.

Beth put the letter in a small chest she had in her room and on occasion throughout the years she would see the letter in the chest but never read it again. She wasn’t sure why she hung on to the letter, it always brought her sadness about the prom.

Years later, Beth married with kids of her own in high school and proms around the corner she thought of her dad who had long since passed away. Beth looked for the chest that had the letter from her dad. When she located the old chest from her youth, the letter was missing.

Perhaps the lost letter was for the best. Since her relationship with Christ, she understood more clearly that her dad was not a well man and through God’s grace in her life she was able to love him, forgive him and not to cling on to the past but move forward with joy.


non-fiction
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Ruth Walker
02/29/16
A story that developed empathy for the disappointment suffered, very well. I was hoping for a stronger ending, as we could see that it still hurt somewhat from the fact that at the time of her children's Proms, she sought to revisit her own pain regarding hers. I wanted to hear how she resolved that pain. But otherwise enjoyable!
Sheldon Bass 
03/02/16
I could tell this was nonfiction by half way though. Thank you for sharing what may be a help to many young women without a present father in their life. You told the story well, and I'd like to see a little more emotion by showing your main character's respnses. Drooping eyes or a head hung low when dad didn't respond in time. Talk about body positions and facial expressions to really Show your readers what she is feeling, rather than just telling them and it becomes even more powerful than it already is. Keep up the great work! You have the knack!
Bonnie Bowden 
03/03/16
It is always difficult to miss a major event in high school. I'm glad the MC was able to have compassion for her father.

Today.many schools collect prom dresses for those who can't afford them.

I thought the story was well written, but lacked raw emotion at times.