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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: INDEFATIGABLE (02/11/16)
It's a good thing my husband enjoys being behind the wheel. I think he could go all day and all night, if we had a bottomless fuel tank, and the kids didn't get hungry or thirsty until we reached our destination. He will crank up the radio, and set the temperature cool enough to keep meat from spoiling. I need a blanket if I hope to sleep - and I will sleep. It's dark, and the volume of the radio prevents conversation. There isn't enough light to crochet. Even with my electronic book reader, there's a limit to how long I can keep my eyes open.

The scenery is pretty monotonous, even in the daytime, on that long road from Texas to northern Arizona, along I-40.

Most of my extended family lives in the Valley of the Sun, where I grew up. We made the trip to visit as often as we could, on the limited income from self-employment. Air travel for four people was never an option.
We've been traveling this road for over fifty years, since it was known as Route 66. Back then, I was one of the kids sacked out in the back of a station wagon. We usually made it in one long stretch, because a hotel room wasn't a necessary expense.

Daddy would say, "Go to sleep, and when you wake up, we'll be almost there." Later, I used that line on my own children. They even believed it the first few times.

Necessary stops, in his opinion, were not necessary. So when Daddy stopped for fuel, Momma made sure everyone got out and stretched, with the obligatory restroom visit.

Years later, I'm the momma.

Occasionally, after we'd worked long hours to tie up any loose ends in our business, and done all the laundry and packing for a road trip, my husband was not able to drive straight through. I encouraged him to stop, get some fresh air, and stretch to help him stay awake.

"I'm fine," he'd say. "We'll never get there if we keep stopping every little bit." When he insisted that we keep going, I slept. Then, through the fog of sleep, he pats my leg and says, "You need to drive for a little while."

Emphasis on 'little while.' I can do that, but not for long. More than once, I've grown drowsy, but thought I was still awake enough to keep going a little farther. He's asleep, and I want him to be fresh when he wakes up.

Then, without warning, I'm suddenly on full alert, doing my best to get the car back on the road and away from the ditch. Only then do I realize that I must have closed my eyes for only a moment, but it was long enough.
That jolt wakes him, and he mumbles, "Everything okay?"

I want to tell him yes, but it scares me to realize how close we came to having an accident. "It's your turn to drive now. Or we need to pull off the road until you're ready."

Of course, with my erratic driving, he's fully awake and ready to take over. Needless to say, driving is not my favorite sport, no matter how easy it is for him.

When I must drive, either alone or with a car full of people, there is one truth I depend on. The Lord watches over me and my vehicle. I often picture driving in a protective bubble, and hearing his voice, trusting that he is always alert. I pray "without ceasing" more often behind the wheel than in any other setting.

And when I reach my destination, I breathe a sigh of relief, and say, "thank you, Lord, that you never sleep, and that you are always with me."
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
02/20/16
I enjoyed the authentic voice in this entry. The circumstances were such that everyone could relate, either as a driver or a passenger.

You were a bit inconsistent in your use of tenses. Some of it was written in present tense, and some of it past perfect (using 'had' verbs) and some of it in simple past.

Another thing for you to think about is the fact that this is such a common scenario. Since nearly everyone can relate to long car trips and the emotions associated with them, it would be great if you could find a way to make your experience totally unique and fresh for your readers. Perhaps there's some specific instance of either wakefulness or sleepiness on such a trip that really stands out, and that not many other people would have experienced. Writing about that, rather than about typical on-the-road experiences, might just make your piece stand out.

I enjoyed your pacing and your use of imagery and dialog in a first-person narrative, and your humor throughout (including in the title).
Ruth Walker
02/21/16
....so, travel in Australia isn't that much different! I remember many such trips across the Nullabor plain....
My favourite bit was your first par, esp. "temperature cool enough to keep meat from spooling"!! Yep, I married one of those too. Good description: so much better than "turned the temp down"!
Bonnie Bowden 
02/24/16
It must have been scary to almost get in an accident while driving.

I think it is important to stop and sleep at a rest stop or motel during a long, monotonous journey.
Bonnie Bowden 
02/25/16
Congratulations, Ruth, on your 3rd place entry in the Intermediate Category.

I don't blame you for your lack of enthusiasm for driving.