The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: SWIM (07/21/22)
I was drifting in a large body of water. I wasn’t really sure how I got there. There were dozens of others around me. Some lost. Some dying. Some I knew. Some I didn’t. Flattened life vests hung on each neck and there was no land in sight. There was no large ocean liner sinking on the horizon, but rather the scattered carcasses of each individual crisis that brought us here was littering the ocean floor beneath us.

Numbness permeated my body. I tried to reach for someone near me. She flailed wildly, shoving me under. I choked and coughed and tried to explain that I was only trying to help. Suddenly, she flung herself at me, clinging to me and shoving me under.

I heard the Lord ask, “Who told you to drown yourself trying to save these people?”

“What are you talking about? I’m trying to help them! No one is even trying to help them but me!” I screamed.

“That’s not your job. Saving is my job.”

“You want me to just sit here and watch them drown?”

“Have you forgotten where your help comes from? How can you help if you cannot swim yourself? Pray for them.”

Desperation wrapped its tentacles around my neck, choking me.

“Pray for them.” The urgency in the command mobilized me. I looked from person to person. If I knew their situation I prayed for that specific need, if not, I just prayed.

The Lord spoke again. “As you pray, your life vest inflates and lifts you up to safety. As you pray for them, you inflate their life vests. But I am the one who can calm the wind and sea.”

I prayed harder. As the vests inflated, each person began to pray with me. The prayers began as weak, muffled cries; but as each life vest filled with air, we prayed louder and more fervently. Linking arms, our prayers became boisterous and victorious until land rose up beneath our feet.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 338 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
08/01/22
This is a brilliant analogy. You have an outstanding message. I remember a minister telling me praying isn't the least we can do but the most. The only red ink I have is the first paragraph could be tightened to show the urgency. Often the best way I can explain what I mean is to give an example of what I might do if I were to edit this piece. For example:
Drifting in a large body of water, surrounded by dozens who were lost or dying, I struggled to stay afloat. Flattened life vests...
This is just a quick example of how you could pull the reader in a bit faster by using an active voice and not starting sentences with the same words (I, Some). I again want to say how brilliant I think this is. The message is clear. You've tackled the topic in a fresh way and kept the reader on the edge of the seat.
Arlene Baker
08/03/22
Oh my! This article is SO creative and has so much potential. Make your hook stronger by losing all the passive verbs. Develop the opening scene a bit more so the true message has more impact. In other words, more showing and less telling. I LOVE this! The message is timely AND important!
Marlene MCPherson
08/04/22
Great colorful concept.
C D Swanson 
08/04/22
This was excellent!
Well done,
Congrats,
Blessings~
Shari Armstrong 
09/18/22
Hi Wendi, This is Shari, the FW Writing Challenge Coordinator. I was looking over some statistics and realized that you now have placed 1st in the Beg/Int category two times and it's time to move up to Advanced the next time you enter! Congrats!!!