The Official Writing Challenge
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This was a good, typical scenario for this topic. I think all parents find themselves in this situation at some point.
It would be easier to read if each speaker was on a new line. Also the formatting works best if you leave an extra line between paragraphs.
Thanks for writing this. Keep it up.
Really tracked with this story, although it needs more paragraphing and white space. The story was so on topic and clearly written, creative - and I believe it is memorable:-). Loved the way the mother processed her daughter's rebuke. Great example for us all.
Well done in content and delivery...well done.

God bless~
Right on topic. I agree with the others about needing paragraph breaks-white space. When writing is all jammed together, he makes me not want to read it. Enjoyed the story, and it's so true!