The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/17/19
This was a good, typical scenario for this topic. I think all parents find themselves in this situation at some point.
It would be easier to read if each speaker was on a new line. Also the formatting works best if you leave an extra line between paragraphs.
Thanks for writing this. Keep it up.
01/17/19
Really tracked with this story, although it needs more paragraphing and white space. The story was so on topic and clearly written, creative - and I believe it is memorable:-). Loved the way the mother processed her daughter's rebuke. Great example for us all.
01/19/19
Well done in content and delivery...well done.

God bless~
Right on topic. I agree with the others about needing paragraph breaks-white space. When writing is all jammed together, he makes me not want to read it. Enjoyed the story, and it's so true!