The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/11/16
Oh my goodness, what an intensely sad story. This happened to a friend of mine so many years ago, she had the hardest time forgiving herself because the last thing she said to him when he left was "You're horrible and I never should have married you..."

It had an authentic tone and plot, and it made my heart so sad.

God bless~
Wow. I thought you did a nice job of building suspense in your story.

If you had let the reader know why you and your husband were fighting, it would have pulled in the reader right from the beginning.

An example: "What do you mean you can't pick up the kids after school?"

I liked the twist at the end of the story. I believe it needs to show MC's emotions.

I am just learning myself.

I liked the premise of your story and if developed a little further your writing would grow by leaps and bounds.

03/11/16
A well written story. I could almost see the end coming, but wasn't completely sure. You captured feelings nicely.
Good luck with the judges.
Nicely done. I felt for the MC, that was a rough situation to be in.
03/12/16
This story is a real tear-jerker. It was a good reminder for me to speak in love and not in anger when I am overwhelmed.

Well done.

03/17/16
Congratulations, Kathy, on your highly commendable entry in the Intermediate Category.