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Topic: TRIAL (05/10/18)
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TITLE: When There Are No "Right" Words | Previous Challenge Entry
By Debbie Swain
05/17/18 -
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Have you ever experienced a tragedy involving someone very dear to you but couldn’t fine the “right†words to say? Sometimes there are no “right†words, just being there for someone speaks more than words could ever express.
Many years ago, one of my dear friends lost her twelve year old daughter in a very freak accident two days after Christmas. She was buried on New Year’s Day. I’ve always remembered the conversation I had with her after the funeral. My friend asked me into a private room so we could talk. When I think about it now, all she needed was a friend to love her, not someone to fumble for answers.
Over the last year, my comments during our conversation that day, have truly burdened me. Strangely enough, I can remember exactly what I was wearing that day and most of what I said. It’s taken many years of my life experiences and some very dark times to realize I should have chosen more appropriate words OR, maybe just should have been quiet. Just being there spoke volumes and gave her the reassurance that I cared and was hurting for them. Sometimes, in an effort to help, we can do more harm because we think we have to find the answers.
I’m embarrassed to say that I told my dear hurting friend that, “God knows best.†Yes, how awful could I have been? Even though God does know best, and that He has a most perfect plan for each of us, those are truly not convincing nor comforting words to a mother who feels like her heart has been ripped from her very being. I also remember suggesting she read Psalm 119. What in the world was I thinking? I must have sounded like Job’s friends trying to “help†him.
I guess I was trying to ease her pain and suggest God’s words in Psalms to comfort her in her time of need. Surely there were other Scriptures I could have shared other than Psalm 119. I was floundering like a fish out of water. When I think of what I said that day, I’m so saddened that I said anything at all. I should have just hugged her tightly and told her I was there for her. I am so very thankful that my sweet friend has loved me all of these years in spite of my seemingly “trite†comments. I’m sure she overlooked what I said because she knew my heart.
Because God has recently brought this event to my mind, I have already “written†her card in my heart. All that’s needed now is to get it on paper. After all these years, hopefully she will realize God’s mighty hand has touched me to remember our conversation and that it has bothered me. Hopefully she will be reassured that God’s in all of the details of our lives and He is working behind the scenes at all times.
May this message help us remember to depend on God to give us “His right†words to say to those who are hurting. I remember in some of my darkest hours, with tears in my eyes, saying; “Lord, I don’t understand what’s going on, but I trust You!†I realized that yes, God DID know best and that He has a perfect plan for my life. Even in the midst of my deepest pain, I was able to rest assured that God had everything in His care. As I share this realization with my friend, hopefully she will understand that my words that day were truly the “right†words; “God does know best!†And yes, dear friend, even in our most painful trials, He has everything under control!
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Well done,
Blessings~
Keep up the good work.