The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Well Done!!

LOVED IT! What a great way of telling the reader about the Fall, and how you never stood a chance. A real message of hope, too. You are an excellent writer, and this time you have woven your words into a wonderful masterpiece. Keep at it, pal. Powerful stuff!
An interesting take on a familiar story.
You did a wonderful job of creative storytelling. I could picture it all quite clearly. It is difficult to accurately retell a Bible passage. I was very impressed with the development of your piece.

Your story would be even better if you would do more proofreading. Keep writing.
I like the perspective on Adam and Eve making a direct connection to "me." I appreciate the offer to know more about salvation at the end.