Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: TRIAL (05/10/18)
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TITLE: A Trial of Truthfulness | Previous Challenge Entry
By Louis Detweiler
05/16/18 -
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Tom, the new hire, got up from his chair and shook Mike’s hand, “I will be truthful in everything I do. I just don’t like people playing games with me.â€
Mike laughed, “Start your patrol and believe me the only game we have here is security and making money. The last thing I do is play games with my staff.â€
Smiling, Tom left the office and got in the patrol car and began to patrol the gated community. He thought to himself, “How easy life can become if we follow God’s plan.â€
When Tom had left, Mike called in his assistant, Sally. “I want to see if I can trust Tom to be truthful. Have the Mahoney’s neighbor, Ms. Claiborne, our financial manager, leave one of the Mahoney’s back doors open so when Tom goes behind the house and processes his out of town checks he will see it and report it.â€
Sally, “Done.â€
Ms. Claiborne entered the Mahoney’s house went upstairs and waited for Tom to make his house check. She left the ground level side door open.
Tom stopped the patrol vehicle got out and went to the back of the house took a GPS reading, waited by the patrol vehicle for a few minutes, got back in his patrol vehicle and continued his patrol.
Ms. Mahoney called Sally, “He finished his inspection of the house. Did he file a complaint?â€
Sally, “Nope. I’ll tell Mike.
Immediately Mike radioed Tom, “I need you to come by the office. I need to talk with you.â€
Tom turned his patrol vehicle around and in the next few minutes he was in Mike’s office.
“I thought I told you to take the GPS reading behind the house on all the out-of-town checks?â€
“I did.â€
“At the Mahoney’s house, the side door was open and you didn’t report it.â€
“How did you know the side door was open?â€
“I sent the neighbor into the house to leave a door open to see if we could trust you to do your job.â€
“I did report it. Maybe the incident report didn’t go through.â€
“You didn’t report the open door.â€
Mike and Tom examined the iphone and the incident had been sent, but the server did not process the data yet.
“You have a problem with your server, Mike. The report was filed but the server didn’t process the information. I hope you have better luck with your new crew member.â€
“What do you mean?â€
“I was truthful. Yet you played with me. I was honest with you, but you lied to me. I don’t trust you or ever will. You wasted my time by hiring me.â€
“Please, I trust you now. We put a lot of trust in you. I have to know you will be ready for greater responsibility. This was just a trial.â€
“I’m a Christian. I work for the Lord. All men have faults and sin. I need to work for someone I can trust. The Bible says, “(Psalms 37:5, NIV) Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.â€
“I’m a Christian too, please we need good men.â€
“What are the two commandments that Jesus gave, that all the other laws hinge upon?â€
“I don’t know.â€
“You are not a Christian and I am leaving.â€
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Excellent message and writing.
Blessings~
Keep up the good work
Be careful of subtle POV shifts. The reader can only know what the MC sees, hears, or thinks. Since Tom is the MC, he wouldn't be able to show the reader what Mike did after he left. It would be easy to tie it in later when Mike admits to testing him.
You did a great job of writing on topic. You drew me in right away too. Part of me wishes Tom would forgive and give him another chance, thereby, having an opportunity to truly minister, but only a part of me. The other part realized sometimes we need to learn valuable lessons the hard way. I also like this because different people can take away different messages, which isn't easy to do at all, unless the Holy Spirit is using your fingers. I believe God has great plans for your artistic fingers!
Congratulations on ranking 1st in your level and 19 overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
We have to be truthful even in the fave of being doubted
Very encouraging