The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/10/15
How sad to see Christmas portrayed this way in a church program! My only suggestion would be to explain what happened; earlier in the story.
12/10/15
Wow! That is hard to believe! Probably spent too much time in the beginning talking about how terrible the incident was that made your blood boil without telling us what that was. I loved your last sentence. Summed it up nicely.
12/11/15
Passionate words of dismay were loud and clear as you describe that mockery in which you witnessed.

You brought the topic to life in a powerful way with an important message as well.

Sad to think that some places do such things...

God bless~
12/11/15
I feel your anger and frustration and rightfully so. You are good with words and able to show your emotions well.

I agree with the other remarks that you waited a little to long to tell what actually happened. But with that said, it certainly kept me reading.

Thanks for sharing.
Yes, America has lead the way in making Christmas a hard thing to celebrate. It is almost like Easter. Now, I celebrate the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus each Sunday while I remember Jesus by taking Communion or the Lord's Supper.

Let your emotions still guide you as you write.
12/13/15
I agree that it is terrible how some churches are not sharing the good news of Christmas. Some churches have adopted the policy of cancelling Sunday Services on Christmas. I believe your story would have been more powerful if you had put the last sence at the beginning so we knew the conflict right off the start.
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