Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: STEAM (12/03/15)
- TITLE: Reminiscing | Previous Challenge Entry
By brenda gans
12/09/15 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Gracie knew her husband was proud of their daughter. Would he care more if she had been a boy? She glanced over quickly. No, not her husband. Maybe some in their Greek American community would have, but Marco? He didn’t care either way. After burying two babies they were just glad to be bringing Rosie home.
To Gracie the clouds under the plane looked like steam that would come from the plant Marco worked at. Where he would return two days from now after they enjoyed one day at home as a family. Where he would work for 25 years, not really planning it, just doing it for his loves. Where he would go that last morning they had together.
Little Carlo snuggled closer to Granny Gracie’s side, drawing her from her musing. As she looked at the steam billowing out of the trains steam stack, her memory clung to the past while her hand held the future.
Marco hadn’t come home from work that last day. Instead he was taken to hospital by ambulance. The hospital doctor had informed her he had passed before he arrived. She said good-bye to her love in a sterile hospital room. Now, a year later, she sat on this tourist steam train, touring the countryside of her new home, with Rosie and little Carlo, reminiscing of days gone by.
***Fiction
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
Well done.
God bless~
That is OK. It is an area to think about. Short times given to writing make careful checking sometime difficult.
I was confused about the plane. (Was it supposed to be the train?) Also, it's hard to understand her thinking of details in the future.
I suggest that you have the whole story looking back over the previous year.
You make good use of your vocabulary for descriptions. I can see you growing in your writing skills, if you keep at it. (Faithwriters is a good place to learn. It helped me tremendously over the last few years.)