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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: GRATE (11/19/15)
You Will Not Be Crushed
Now Elimelech, Naomi's husband, died, and she was left with her two sons. They married Moabite women, one named Orpah and the other Ruth. After they had lived there about ten years, both Mahlon and Kilion also died, and Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband Ruth 1 :1-6 (NIV)
Having lost her husband and two sons Naomi had moved from the desert to the jungle, indeed she was at that point of hopelessness with no strength to carry on but Ruth came as a friend and companion who stood by her at that worst moment to a point when the life of Naomi changed for the better.
After my graduation I looked for a job for quite some time with no success, indeed I felt broken and completely crushed, I kept focusing on the resources my parents used for my degree ye it seemed nothing was not coming out it. I cried day and night asking God for an answer to the pain I was going through, at a point when I though God has kept silent, he came through and restored my broken spirit, he met both my physical and spiritual need to the full.
Yes he taught me to walk in faith, for when everything seems to be falling in around us, when the walls seems to be closing in on us, when everything looks completely hopeless, God reminded me that He gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist. God is not ever taken by surprise, He is present to hear and save those who are his from calamity. Just hold on you will not be crushed neither will you be consumed; his mighty hand will always direct your steps.
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This article has been read 691 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
11/26/15
The book of Ruth is one of many of my favorites. Well done!

God bless~
Bonnie Bowden 
11/29/15
I liked how you tied together the story of Ruth and your own difficulties in life.

Your story would have more readable if you would have double-spaced between paragraphs.

The other observation I made was that you had several run-on sentences. A run-on sentence is when you join two or more complete sentences with no punctuation or improper punctuation. For example: God is not ever taken b
Bonnie Bowden 
11/29/15
Sorry, i hit the return key by accident.

For example: God is never taken by surprise; he is present to hear and save those that are his from calamity.

Also, I would cut out some words like indeed that do little to add anything to the story.

I see a lot of promise in your writing and just want to show you how to make it better.
Jan Ackerson
12/02/15
I appreciate your transparency in sharing your feelings about a difficult period in your life. That's the sort of thing that draws readers in. You might consider leading with your story--many readers of devotionals have read the Bible stories many, many times, but have never read your story. That's a good way to hook a reader, and then you can present the biblical lesson to them later in the writing.

You had quite a few words to spare; I would have liked to know even more about the circumstances that almost "crushed" you. In creative nonfiction, you can present those in a narrative fashion--give more details, even include dialogue. Anything that will keep a reader's eyes on your words is a plus.

I had a very difficult time discerning the topic of "grate" in your devotional. It could be inferred, but the idea of the Writing Challenge is to use the prompt more obviously than just an inference that's a bit of a stretch.

Your writing was heartfelt and full of grace, and I appreciated having read it.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
12/03/15
I liked the points you made. God knows how important it is for us to have friends and be able to rely on them. Make sure you put the Bible verse in quotation marks. I'd also have enjoyed seeing more of your story and how you related to Naomi. You have a nice start. Keep writing and read and comment on other challenges too. I think if you do these things, you'll blossom and find your place in the writing world.
Catherine Craig
12/05/15
Perceiving the pain that so affected Naomi that she changed her name to Marah (bitter) was right-on. Then identifying with her pain, and reminding the reader that there is always hope was cool too. Maybe a bit more detail on how you shifted from despair to hope for the reader to latch onto?