Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: THE UGLY TOURIST (07/09/15)
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TITLE: Enough | Previous Challenge Entry
By Grace Teoxon
07/15/15 -
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I visited the Pinacoteca Ambosiana museum in Milan. It’s astonishing how intricately the miniatures were done - seeing those glorious mosaics can easily transport one to an 18th century courtyard. My eyes latched on a grouping of Limoges boxes. It has figures like a young lady representing Heaven, a young man for Purgatory, and an old man for Hell. Hmmnn … how interesting … . It’s time to hie off to where the apostle Paul travelled for the cause of Jesus.
Ephesus amazes – in the books. Before me are rubbles, there’s none to see except broken down columns of the Temple of Artemis. Yet stones held the memories of old and … screeeech… swooosh … a babel of sounds erupted from the bus. Tourists embarked in all sizes, color, and ages. They do come well-equipped – hats, comfortable clothes and T-shirts stamped with images of where they’re from (e.g. eagle, pagoda), and of course, the ubiquitous camera. They sported footwear like a uniform - baseball boots, tennis shoes. Well, can’t blame them with all the walking and clambering over boulders as curiosity pulls; point out later to friends, “’See, I’ve been there,” showing an unidentified pile of rocks.
“Careful… please … stop,” the.tour guide called out as a woman tried to pull off a flower from the cracks of a remaining wall. Giving a final tugged, flower in hand, she walked away as if nothing mattered. The rest of them rushed around – cameras go …click…click … just as pens clicked to mark sites seen on the checklist on their clipboard. Loud conversations filled the air, peppered with drawn-out accents, “yaaaahs,” “OMGs,” and seemingly, the cackling of hens.
I, too have a site to visit, the Western Wall of Jerusalem or Wailing Wall. I see people massed around - writing, inserting notes to the cracks on the wall, crying, and praying. Perhaps, whatever those notes contain, will bring the release, a catharsis longed for.
Tourists or pilgrims come and go; some stayed and got stuck in history. Take one - . Margery Kempe who came in 1413 as a pilgrim to the Holy Land. She wept her way to all the sacred sites, wept over their meals. Her unnatural religious fervor upset her fellow pilgrims so, finally, they refused her company. That didn’t deter her and she went on weeping - wherever, whatever, putting her sanity in question.
No matter, Jerusalem continues to beckon. “Thus says the Lord God: This is Jerusalem; I have set her in the center of the nations, with countries all around her." (Ezekiel 5:5.NKJV)
Enough being a tourist, it’s time to go home.
The day is winding and I’m in my favorite hang-out. I have the café all to myself. While waiting for coffee, a couple came in and ordered tea with milk; I took that as a cue.
“Hi, Here for a visit?
“Yes, we’re actually on tour; we’re at the trailer park. We just came from Mexico.”
“Interesting place; we get a lot of their produce here. Have you sampled their dishes? I like their chile con queso.
“Gracious no,” sounding horrified. “My mother said never to eat strange food. We brought tinned ones from England. I don’t know what they put into their soups. You see, I visited their market and they carry many unfamiliar vegetables and they’re unwashed, “ she shudders.
“Get the fruits then,” I said.
“It will just spoil as the children don’t like fruits much,” the guy nodded.
"Oh, Is school out already?”
“No but I talked to the headmaster and told him it’s an educational trip. He agreed. I want the children, you know, to be exposed to various cultures.”
Huh? “Really”… I dead panned. Hello, what have we here?
Afraid I can’t hold the look much longer; I hurriedly paid my bill. “I’ve got to go. Have a nice trip” and sashayed myself out – hoping that leaves a message.
Hey guys, have a life. That’s an awful load of baggage you’re carrying - enough!
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I did have some trouble following you at times. In your opening paragraph, I had to read the third line several times to understand it. I will ask someone to read my story aloud and if he stumbles at all, I know I need to go back and smooth it out some. I think it might be helpful if you had transitioned a bit more in between stories. It felt a bit sudden to me to go from one spot to the next to the next without a transition.
Your idea is great and I like how you went outside of the box. I think your ending was great. Many people struggle with the ending, but I think it was your strongest out of all of the criteria the judges use. You also had some great descriptions. I liked the way you used dialog and thoughts to move the story along. I look forward to reading more of your work.