Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: THE UGLY TOURIST (07/09/15)
- TITLE: Bums Away
By Rebecca Bithyah
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I assessed the setting sun. It was getting late and I’d heard you needed to be at the local food market around sunset to catch the best action. I’d never been in this part of town and wasn’t sure how often the rides passed.
I looked down the track then slumped back onto the platform. I muttered a prayer but was too hungry to concentrate properly.
Then I felt it. Vibration. My ride was coming. I moved to the edge of the platform and got ready; I had to time my jump perfectly. The ride arrived. I leapt over the gap, landed with precision then gripped on.
Thank you Lord, you’ve kept me safe again. I smiled, looked around and saw a friend from back home.
‘Earl, what’re you doing here?’
‘I heard about a rockin’ food market over this way and I had to check it out.’
We came to the turn off but the driver took a left instead of a right.
‘Hey,’ I said, ‘I thought the market was down that way, what’s going on?’
‘Dunno,’ said Earl, ‘As far as I knew all the rides went down to see the kangaroos come into the sleeping ground for the night. Well, that blows it, no food market for us, what’re we gonna do?’
I shrugged, then looked up. ‘If we can’t munch on kangaroo, I guess we’ll have to eat on-board. I hope he’s had a wash.’
‘I hope he hasn’t,’ said Earl.
I curled my lip. I’d forgotten Earl’s taste for sweaty hiker’s groin.
We ducked around the swinging shoelaces then clambered to the top of the boots.
‘Hey, what’s going on with this sock elastic, is it a new style?’ I asked.
Earl gave it an experimental nibble. ‘Yeah, it’s the new tick proof technology.’
Earl rolled his eyes and said, ‘Humans, they’ll never learn.’
‘Do you feel like some foot juice while we’re here, just to prove it can be done?’ I said.
Earl shook his head and looked up. ‘Nah, I’m going for the groin. I’m gonna suck this ride till my bum’s so full I can’t fit in another drop.’
‘Are you sure we can do it? It’s more dangerous than eating down here,’ I said but Earl had scurried off and was already halfway up the shin.
I caught up to him below a red swelling on the knee. I’d seen this before. ‘Hey, this guy’s just had knee surgery. What an idiot, out walking already.’
Earl smelled the recent wound. ‘Yeah, last ride I had with a fresh cut like this broke down on me. Didn’t ruin the holiday though, I jumped on one of the other ride’s that came out to pick her up.’
I looked up the wide expanse of the thigh. A long scurry with no cover. We moved up bit by bit, creeping and waiting, crawling and dodging. We couldn’t flutter one hair or scratch one skin cell.
‘Oh turds,’ Earl shouted.
I turned and saw that he’d stumbled into a mole. We both crouched and gripped on.
The ride’s hand swept down and rubbed his leg.
I was pulled to the edge of my strength one way and then the other but I dug in deep.
The ride crooked his fingers and explored, scratching.
‘I told you we should have stayed with the feet,’ I yelled at Earl.
‘Shut up and hang on,’ he yelled back.
The hand moved away and the ride got going again.
I made a scuttle for it. My legs pumped, my breath rushed in and out my exoskeleton. I looked up, expecting a finger to pluck me to my death but instead I saw the cover of a pants leg. I’d made it. The iron smell of warm blood was thick and helped me to relax. I started salivating.
Earl bumped into me from behind. His bum rumbled with hunger. ‘Told you we’d make it, now I’m off to partake.’ He moved further up and latched on near a pubic hair.
I looked around and saw some chafing. Mmm, blood sucked through damaged skin, my favourite.
Thank you God for feeding the birds of the air, and ticks too.
I rushed over and buried my mouth in the soft delicious flesh.
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