The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 154 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/11/16
i feel the passion in this piece and the points were articulated well. However it seemed a bit all over the place & focusing on one clear message would improve the piece without losing The passion.
It seemed that each paragraph had a thought but I could not see the connection between the paragraphs.

This may have been because it was too deep for me.

Keep writing, though, and express yourself.