Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: OVERLOAD (10/06/16)
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TITLE: Rest for Your Soul | Previous Challenge Entry
By John Esposito
10/08/16 -
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This is what I heard on my way home from work one afternoon. Then I felt this warm, loving feeling go through my body and I began to cry.
Actually I was sobbing. The next thing I knew I was parked in my driveway, still crying. And I have no memory of the drive home. Nothing!
It takes me about 40 minutes to travel everyday from door to door. My wife and I usually commute together. But for what ever reason that day I was alone in the truck.
My wife looked at me and asked “What’s the matter?”
“I need a minute.”
I am blessed to have a wife that understands when the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me something. I am also blessed that she gives me the time to digest it and sort things out; then waits patiently for me to explain it to her.
I have been serving in Central Appalachia for the past 16 years through the Appalachia Service Project. This is usually a week long youth group trip, but this is going to require me to take 10 weeks off.
I had a successful interview and cleared with my family. Everyone was on board, I just had to clear it with work.
At work I was told that there is a no leave of absence policy. I would have to quit and then reapply when I got home. I couldn’t take a chance on throwing away 16 years of employment to be a summer chaplain.
It broke my heart to make that call saying that I wouldn’t be able to take the job. They understood and told me maybe another time.
The following week I was team for a men’s Christian weekend and the Holy Spirit was again pressing me.
That Sunday morning I went to the chapel and began to pray. I told the Lord that this was out of my hands now and that if He wanted me to do this then He would have to make it happen.
Monday morning while I was punching in for work my manager called me into the office and said, “Hey you know that thing you wanted to do this summer? We are going to grant you your wish.”
After a big THANK YOU!!! I called the person in charge of hiring the summer chaplains and explained what had just happened.
He said, “That’s amazing and I have even more amazing news. I just had a chaplain drop this morning and the position is yours if you want it.”
I said, “I’ll see in two weeks.”
Being a summer chaplain at times was mentally exhausting. While I was looking after my staff they were also looking out for me.
“Espo you look exhausted, are you OK?”
“I am a little tired”
“Here let me get you a chair so you can rest for a while.”
This twenty second conversation reminded me of the story of Moses in Exodus 17
8 The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. 9 Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.”
10 So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. 11 As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. 12 When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. 13 So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.
14 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Write this on a scroll as something to be remembered and make sure that Joshua hears it, because I will completely blot out the name of Amalek from under heaven.” – Exodus 17:8-14 (NIV)
Every time I felt like I was in overload mode during the summer the Lord would always take care of me. The one pair of footprints in the sand is true. I can testify to that.
He always gave me rest for my soul so I could continue on another day, and continue to fight poverty in Central Appalachia.
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I have a few suggestions that would make this story even stronger. Some experts suggest that you shouldn't start off with dialog because it can make the reader feel like they are entering in the middle of something. Actually, it didn't dawn on me that it was God speaking until the third read through. This is one way you could go:
As I was driving home from work, I heard God speak to my heart. I want you to go to Appalachia this summer and be a chaplain.
As he spoke, I felt a warm, loving tingle spread throughout my body, and I began to sob.
My other main suggestion would be your ending. I liked that you saved the Scripture to the end, but it weighed the story down a bit. Instead, I'd encourage you to paraphrase it in your own words. When you include the reference, the reader can still click on it and read it from the Bible, but by putting it in your words as you understand it, it allows the reader insight into the MC's heart.
You did a nice job of writing on topic. I liked that you added dialog and body language. The message is clear and powerful. I think most everyone can relate in some way. It's also a great reminder that when we pray, trust, and obey, God provides, and wonderful things abound.
Well written. Nice tone to the whole story.
How amazing that God works every last detail out and blesses in the process.