The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/18/15
This is good.

Try to be a bit more sparing with exclamation points. They should really only be used in dialogue, and even then, should be somewhat rare.

I love your line about the tentacles opening.
05/19/15
Lovely language and a beautiful extended metaphor. Very nicely done! This touched me - thanks for sharing.
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