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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Expand (07/18/13)
"Expand" - to grow, to flourish. A sound bite flashes in my memory: "the universe is always expanding"...my summer ushering in a planetarium, re-depositing ticket confetti while straining for a painful glimpse at holographic stars.
"Expand" - a nerve clinches in my stomach: my expanding waistline - red-faced sessions wrangling with spitefully cute jeans.
"Expand" - to increase - family. Babies - having children, finding a spouse...pressure cooking on high.
"Expand" - to become full - brimming, overwhelmed with tension - expand, babies, family. Nervous. I hear a song in my mind...a Voice. "Love...filling every place...making gardens grow..." I cling, singing...a quick release. Exhaling, my face flushes with the warmth of an uncomfortably close embrace. Palms trembling- His Presence expanding. I feel...delicious shivers. Expanding in me. He picked me. He picked me. He's my hero. I laugh. His love expanding in the room. Audience of One.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Larry Whittington
07/25/13
This almost seems like a quick trip to the Thesaurus or a short family biography.

I found it difficult to see the intended direction.

You did use a variety of similar terms which could be used for the word expand.

Interesting piece though.
Jan Ackerson
07/26/13
This felt more like free verse poetry than prose--but it doesn't LOOK like poetry. I recommend avoiding definitions, especially of terms that your readers are certainly familiar with.

Your writing is full of wonderful images and turns of phrase, and I'm excited to see how it develops.
Brenda Rice
07/30/13
Thanks for sharing and keep writing. Maybe the next topic will be more fun for you to explore your creativity.
Jody Day 
07/30/13
Enjoyed this stream of consciousness kind of essay. Good treatment of the topic.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
07/31/13
This is interesting. You tackled the topic in a different way and make some nice imagery while you do it. I do wonder if formatting it more like a traditional poem might help the reader see your vision. I think you have a creative thought process and the more you write the more you will expand your ability to reach others with your words. Nicely done.