The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/08/13
Hehe This is good.

I got a bit confused because it reads like prose, but is formatted like a poem. I think I would have gone with prose, and not put each sentence on a new line. This really didn't detract from the entry as a whole, however.

Nice job. I like the connections you made.
This is really lovely. I think the analogy is a great one and one I've never heard before.

I noticed some little errors like incomplete sentence or repeating words or phrases like one example would be the word grace.

I think you did a great job of writing on topic. Your transition from the tie example to your message was smooth. Good job.
Wonderful analogies. How do you feel about neckties with the Ten Commandments printed on them? I would like to add that Grace also enables us to be strengthened in our Christ to be able to serve God in joy . . .
Congratulations on ranking 9th in level one!