The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 397 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a nice story and a good representation of how many people view the holiday. The very last sentence is a tad awkward. I think you meant he prayed and asked Jesus into his heart. But then when I stop and think about it I kind of like the phrasing He prayed Jesus into his heart. :)
04/14/12
This is a nice reminder for all of us. We should be showing Jesus is alive in us, as your MC's did by letting his friend go to the game, not just telling the friend that Jesus loves him. Now, if you want to take it to the romance genre... the newly saved friend and the MC's sister? Okay, maybe not. Anyway, thanks for the article!
04/14/12
Good job. I truly enjoyed the entire piece, and loved the powerful conclusion.

Thank you. God Bless~
04/14/12
Easter is a great time to find opportunities to talk about Jesus. Your article showed that and flowed nicely.
04/15/12
Upside:
You made me see Harvey and Wayne exchange views with each other: great! You made me see the ride to church and Harvey’s subsequent surrender to Christ: great! The story is certainly interesting.

Downside:
The topic was used, but not explored. The title and story are not related sufficiently.

Rightside:
Looking forward to reading more entries from you, please keep going.
04/19/12
I love how you worked in all that slicing and dicing during the conversation. You got the message across clearly and skillfully.

The end did feel a little rushed, but I loved it.
Sometimes as the clock winds down it can be hard to fit into a story everything you'd really like to add. Yet all the main elements are there. I look forward to reading more.
Congratulations for ranking 11th in level one! Happy Dance my friend!