The Official Writing Challenge
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What a fun story about Christmas memories! Glad that they took the time out to read and reflect on the Christmas story.
04/26/10
This is lovely - such beautiful descriptions, and a powerful message. You put me right there!
Loved it. What a splendid Christmas message.
04/26/10
Yes, this is perfect for the topic. I could smell and see all the activity with your vivid descriptions. Now I only have eight months to wait! :)
04/26/10
You took me back to Christmases at my own Grandparents' house. Love the nostalgic mood, and the rhythm. It has the feel of a joyful Christmas poem.

Must my opinion, but you might want to use dashes more sparingly. Commas or semicolons in place of some of them would make this a smoother, more polished, piece.

I look forward to reading more of your work. You have a great way with words that engages the reader.
04/26/10
Oops, I meant to say "Just" my opinion. :)
Cat
Heart warming and well written. Your definitely not destined to stay in this level!
We always read the Bible before opening Christmas presents or looking for Easter baskets. What a wonderful tradition to pass on to our children.
04/27/10
Could we be related? You just described the Christmas family reunions of my own youth. Good use of your writing ablility.
04/27/10
A very interesting read. I can sense within your story the eagerness and antipation of the characters waiting for the time to draw nigh. Great job!
Enjoyed reading this "poem". It flowed beautifully. A wonderful memory of family Christmases.
Wow, this is not really the christmas I grew up with, but more like the Christmas we've created for our kids. Just instead of the Grandfather doing it, it's their Dad. It did bring back many Christmas memories though. Keep writing, I really enjoyed it.
04/28/10
Pure joy! You gifted me with Christmas in April!
I so enjoyed reading this and I couldn't help but notice a sweet, lyrical quality about it - almost as if it should be written in verse rather than prose. None-the-less a very quality piece filled with so many memories.
04/28/10
Fresh and friendly, on topic, good message and interesting. all the assets of a good entry. You have talent.

mona
04/28/10
I like the tone of this - unusual and fresh - and Christmasy! Great work.
I've been there/done that as the child, the mother, and the grandmother--which make the reading of your story all the sweeter. Good job!
04/28/10
Good job, I, too, seemed to hear some verse in the story, and enjoyed.
Congratulations in placing in the top 15 of your level. Good job.
Thank you all for your lovely comments. I was down to the last day before the deadline and tossed 3 other ideas (mainly because I could only think in 'poetry', and I'm not a poet)! I have a hard time thinking of words that rhyme--when I want them to. I like the suggestions and totally agree, there were too many hyphens! So, I have 3 mostly-completed but not edited stories if anyone is looking for some, lol.