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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: DEPOSIT( 03/11/21)
TITLE: You Rock!! | Writing Challenge
By Samuel Kane
03/17/21 		~ 8th Place


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Rocky was a rock. He was old, like very old, like older than the Beatles, maybe even older than your parents. Yes, he was that old! But he wasn’t even that old for a rock because rocks live a very long time.

One day, Rocky was sat with his family on top of the very big hill that was their home. He had always wanted to play games with his brothers and sisters but rocks didn’t have any paper, or scissors. It made him very sad.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Then the drips became a patter, then a thrum. Rocky looked up as a raindrop tricked down his nose. It made him sneeze; he giggled. But then he started to get a bit worried. The water was beginning to rise, and Rocky wasn’t a very good swimmer. He pushed his neck above the surface of the water and took a big gulp of air but then he slipped and tumbled.

“Rocky!” His mummy cried out, but it was too late.

Bump! Bump! Bump!

Rocky rolled down the hill. His parents were very far away and he became sad.

Bump! Bump! Bump! SPLASH! Rocky bounced right into the river and he was swished away by the roaring current.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever been on a rollercoaster but Rocky had not, and the fast turns made him feel a bit queasy. Then the water started to speed up a bit, but Rocky wasn’t sure why.

“Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!” He screamed as he tumbled over the edge. The waterfall threw him into the air and he seemed to fall for a very long time. He spun and tumbled and turned and then he landed with a bump at the side of the pool.

He felt very lonely and really missed his family.

After a while, another rock fell on him, and then another. He was always very sociable but this seemed a bit much. Had they never heard of personal space?

Eventually, he had so many stones on top of him that he started to get a bit sore. He tried to pull back and he sank into the earth but they just followed him, which he thought was very rude.
Everyone was really close together and the deeper Rocky sank the hotter it seemed to get.

Eventually it got so hot that Rocky started to sweat a bit. The rocks below him felt a lot squishier now and burned his feet. He sank into a pool of magma and it was very painful.

Rocky missed his family as he started to melt away.

He drifted through the sea of reds and oranges. It was like nothing he’d seen before; it was almost beautiful. He drifted for a really, really long time.

More stones sank into the sea and he started to rise again, and things started to cool down a bit.

It was a very slow climb, but a recovery all the same.
Up he climbed until he broke through the surface and saw the sky once again.

He was a transformed rock, with a new family and new friends. He lived a very happy life. He was one of a bunch of rocks in that sedimentary deposit but he was happy. If the rain came another day and he was swished away again, he knew that everything would be alright.
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Member Comments
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RuthieAlekseeva03/19/21
A fun read. I could picture it in my mind :)
ShannHall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/26/21
This is a delightful story. I can see it as a picture book as well (for me that's a very high compliment because writing for discerning kids and fussy parents both is not an easy task). My only red ink is more of a pet peeve and not a super big deal...try to avoid talking directly to reader unless you do it the whole way through. For me it's a bit distracting and sometimes it doesn't fit me so it makes me feel left out; instead, use dialog, have Rock speak and even have body language. Rock body language could be a hoot and add to your already delightful sense of humor. You had me grinning from first word to last. Outstanding job. Congratulations on your EC. Happy Dance!