Testimonies

---

Now there was a man
of the Pharisees,
named Nicodemus,
a ruler of the Jews.
This man came to
Jesus
by night
and said to Him,
Rabbi,
we know
that You are
a Teacher
come from God.
[John 3:1-2]
******************************
(Sip some more hot cider.)
(Cough.)
(Sigh.)
(Cough again.)
"So, when's it gonna
START, LORD?"

"What,
Mein kinder."

"My BIRTH!
MY REBIRTH!"

"Ah."

(Wipe nose.)
(Sip some more hot cider*.)
"That's IT?"
(Snort, in derision,
not from 2 week-old
head cold.)
"What's THAT mean?"

"It means,
'Ah'.

(Stuffy-nose-whine.)
"You gettin' SASSY,
with ME?"

[SMILE!]
"I understand,
My precious."

"Yeah; well......why don't
You let ME on it......"

"You are not well,
child."

(Roll eyes in sarcasm.)
(Snort: this time, from
the head cold.)
(Burp up cider.)
"Hey, LORD?
How come You have so much
trouble, using English
CONTRACTIONS?
What is it: Your conflicting
grammar, with HEBREW?"

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]

(Philosphical nod.)
"Yeah; I mean, Hebrew
bein' Your First Language,
and all."

[CHUCKLE.]

"So.....ANYWAY,
when's this new BIRTH
gonna START?"

"It already has,
Mein kinder."

"REALLY?"

[NOD.]

(Squint.)
(Sip.)
(Snort [with stuffy cold.])
"Well......I thought, it
was supposed ta' be
really GREAT,
and EVERYTHING?"

[SOLEMN NOD.]
"It is,
most precious."

(Smirk.)
(Snort.)
(Sip.)
"Eh."
(Shrug.)

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

(Shrug.)
(Peer up at ceiling.)
"I think it's OVERRATED."

[CALM NOD.]
[GAZE OFF AT THE
PLANET NEPTUNE.]
[WATCH THE EARTH
ROTATING ON ITS
AXIS.]

"I thought, like,
once I ......Ya know...."

[CURIOUS SMILE.]
"What,
My beloved?"

(Cough.)
(Sip some more cider.)
(Hoarse voice.)
"Ya know.....
Ya know.....got,
Ya know........"

[SMILE!]
"What,
My beloved?"

"You know.
That word."

[CHUCKLE!]
"Yes.
What is it?"

"Saved."

[NOD.]

"Except, the
Jews don't like
that word."
(Clear hoarse throat.)
(Cough.)
"But... I don't know
what else to call it."

[CHUCKLE!]
"Tell Me,
My beloved."

"There's even a
Yiddish word, for it."
(Squint.)
"I'll have ta' look it up."

[SMILE.]
[NOD.]

(Finish off big mug of cider.)
"Well, I'm gonna..."
(Cough.)
"....go lay down, now."

"Yes,
Mein kinder."
[NOD.]

"I'm gonna go stick in
a DVD of "Will and Grace."

[NOD.]

"You don't MIND,
DO You?"

[SMILE.]

"Ya know; what with
all the real CHRISTIANS
say, and all."

[PATIENT NOD.]

"Ta' heck with 'em."
(Sniff [with 2-week-old
head cold].)
"That's what I say."

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"It's HYSTERICAL;
it reminds me of a
21st century version
of 'Three's Company.'"

"I understand,
My beloved."

"Yeah;
You said it, Lord."

[SMILE.]
[SHAKE HEAD.]
[SIGH.]

(Put down big mug.)
(Sigh.)
"Well....I'm glad
we had this little talk,
Lord."
(Wipe mouth.)
"What with the 'Gerativet'**,
and all."

[NOD.]
"Go rest, child."

(Squint.)
(Cough.)
"Ya SURE,
You don't MIND?
About me, watchin'
that SHOW?"

"My children have
free will,
My precious."

"You SAID it, Lord!
Amen to THAT!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
************************
Jesus
answered him,
Truly, truly
I say to you,
unless one is
born anew,
he cannot see
the Kingdom
of God.
[John 3:3]
__________________________
*From the packets ya
can find at the counter,
near the boxes of koolaide
mix. No alcohol: author
has a bad history of
nauseating migraines. Ech.
Don't ask.
**Yiddish: 'Saved'.


In memory;
watching 'Three's Company',
for the first time,
in 1977,
with a good friend.

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE