Faith

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Behold,
tomorrow
about this time
I will cause
very heavy hail
to fall.
[Exodus 9:18]
***********************
(It's been a long, long
day at work. Author is getting
into her car, on the way from
the grocery store. It's
been a regularly 50 degree,
slightly breezy, February
night in lovely San Antonio.
Suddenly,
out of the evening sky,
a light flashes. Thunder
opens up the sky.)
_________________
"Hey, LORD?"
(Peer up out of the windsheild.)
"Couldn't Ya given me,
like, 20 MINUTES? I
would've been HOME!"

[LIGHTENING FLASHES.]
[THUNDER.]

(Mutter.)
(Drive slowly* through parking
lot.)

[HAIL BEGINS TO FALL.]

"What's THIS?"
(Mouth opens**.)
"HUH?"

[HAIL IS NOW SPEEDILY
COMING DOWN, HITTING
THE PARKING LOT AND
CARS.]

"OH, my GOD!"

[LIGHTENING.]
[THUNDER.]
[MORE HAIL.]

"LORD?
What're Ya DOIN'?
Come ON!"

[ANOTHER THUNDER BOLT.]
[HAIL BEATS UPON
CAR ROOF, AND WINDOWS.]

"LORD!
What's this:
a PLAGUE?"
(Nervous laugh.)
(What should I do?
STOP?
Stay in the PARKING lot?
Neah.....I wanna get home.
I'm TIRED.
Neah.)

[HAIL SLEETS ACROSS
PAVEMENT AT A WINDY
ANGLE.]
[MORE LIGHTENING.]

"Oy."

[GAZE LOVINGLY
DOWN AT SCARED CHILD.]

"Oy gah veld!."***

[HAIL BEATS UPON
WINDSHIELD.]

(Could the hail break
THROUGH?
What if DOES?
Won't the glass BREAK?)
(Grimmace!)
(Get onto freeway.)

[WIND SLASHES
BEATING HAIL
AGAINST THE TARMACK.]

(Some of the San Antonians
haven't gotten the point,
and are still driving, like
they're on their way to
a free Spurs game.)

[LIGHTENING.]
[THUNDER.]
[MORE HAIL.]

"Oy, oy."
(Hold breath.)
"Oy."

[FORCES CHILD TO
LET OUT BREATH.]
"Quiet, child."

"Oy.
This is AWFUL."

[HAIL CONTINUES
TO BEAT DOWN ON
WINDSHIELD AND
ROOF.]

(What about my CAR?
Is it getting DENTED?)
(Squint thoughtfully.)
(Grimmace again.)
"I PROMISE I'LL
NEVER KVETCH AGAIN!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

(Drive off of highway,
into black hole, of exit ramp.)
(Hold breath.)
"Oy. Oy."

[HAIL NOW BECOMES
SLEETING MIXTURE
OF RAIN.....AND, EH...
HAIL.]

(Hold breath, again.)
(Author remembers
that sudden bad rains
in San Antonio means
flash floods.)
(What if my CAR gets
SWEPT UP?)
(What if, like.....there's
this TORRENTIAL
flash FLOOD up HERE?)
(What if .....what if..)
(Hold in held-in breath.)

[MAKE CHILD COUGH,
FROM 2-WEEK-OLD
COLD.]

(Cough.)
(Let out breath.)
"Oy gah veld!"

[PATIENT GAZE.]
[CAR IS IN THE PALM
OF HIS HAND.]

(Let out long breath.)
(Slight cough.)
(Curse.)
"Why the hell did I
deserve THIS?
I've been good....all
DAY!"

[FAR OFF THUNDER.]

(Drive slowly onto
main road, toward
home.)
(Car skids, just a little,
on the turn.)
(Author sees some
pick-up trucks, parked
under the freeway,
waiting out the storm.)
(Lets out 2-week-old-
head-cold-scratchy-breath.)
"Okay!
I PROMISE NOT TO
KVETCH THE REST OF....
the NIGHT!
OKAY?"

[SILENCE.]

"OKAY?"

[PATIENT SMILE.]

(Sweat trickles down
already sweaty back.)
(Turn a/c back on****.)
"GOD!"

"What, My beloved?"

"HUH?
Oh, I wasn't TALKIN'
to You!
I was just makin'
an EXCLAMATION!"

[CHUCKLE.]
"Ah.
I see."

(Sigh.)
(Turn up radio.)
(Guy on local radio
station says there's
a 20 percent chance
of thunder tonight:
a 20 percent chance
of rain.)
"Oy VEY!
Yeah; RIGHT!"

[PATIENT GAZE.]
[WATCH THE PICK-UP
TRUCKS STILL PARKED
UNDER THE FREEWAY.]
[PUTS HIS HAND UNDER
THEIR CARS, TOO.]

"I'm HOME, LORD!"

[NOD.]

"Oh.
That's right.
I forgot."

[SMILE!]
"And, what is
that,
My beloved?"

(Grimmace.)
"My kvetching promise."

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]
[NOD.]

"I still gotta couple
hours."
(Squint at car clock.)
"And.....9 minutes."

[CHUCKLE.]
*********************
Then God's temple
in heaven
was opened....
and there were
flashes of lightening,
....peals of thunder,
an earthquake,
and heavy hail.
[Revelation 11:19]
____________________
*San Antonio rarely
has 'bad' weather. Drivers,
as a result, get very squeamish
when a little rain comes down.
**Is the author's mouth
ever CLOSED?
***Yiddish: major 'Oy!'.
****San Antonians keep
their a/c on, 11 months,
out of the year.

Here's to Goodyear.
Thanks, Denise.

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