Christian Living
Shall windy words
have an end?
[Job 16:3]
***********************
"SCHLEPPE?"
[SILENCE.]
"KLUTZY?"
[PATIENT SMILE.]
"KVETCH?"
[PATIENT GAZE.]
"CHILDISH?"
[PATIENT SIGH.]
"GRUMPY*?"
[CHUCKLE.]
"SLEEPY*?"
[PATIENT NOD.]
"LAZY**?"
[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"What should it be,
My precious?"
"Eh...........
(Squint.)
(Frown.)
(Thoughtful air-headed gaze.)
Eh.....I dunno, Lord.
(More frowny squinting.)
Uh....what."
[PATIENT PAUSE.]
(Squint up at top of shade rod.)
(Frown at totally tangled-up
shade pull.)
(Philosophical shrug.)
(Lazy shrug.)
(Take a sip of Walmart iced tea.)
"Can't Ya gimme a HINT,
LORD?"
[PATIENT NOD.]
"Yes, My beloved."
(Impatiently waiting.)
[AGGRAVATING SILENCE.]
(Impatient sigh.)
(Grumble.)
(Mumble.)
(Murmur.)
"WELL?
WELL?"
(Impatiently look up at dusty,
fur-covered ceiling.)
Where ARE YA, LORD?
I thought You were TALKIN'
to me?"
[PATIENT FROWN.]
"I am always Here,
My child."
"Well.......what HAPPENED?
Was one a' the ANGELS
TALKIN' to You, or
SOMETHIN'?"
[CHUCKLE OF A BELOVED FATHER.]
"WELL?
(Impatient frown!)
(Kvetchy look up at totally dust-and-
fur-covered ceiling fan.)
(Nasally, whiny voice.)
But, L....O....R.....D!
(Really whiny tone.)
I THOUGHT Ya were gonna
TELL me what my WORD
W....A....S!
(Squinty eyes of impatience.)
H...U...H?"
[ALL KNOWING AND PATIENT FROWN.]
"Now you will have to wait,
Mein kinder."
(Pout!)
(Mouth agape at ceiling vent.)
(Really whiny voice of a 5 year old
child.)
"But......W.....H.....Y?"
"Because, My precious.
[PAUSE.]
Your first word should be:
respectful."
************************
Where were you
when I laid
the foundation
of the earth?
[Job 38:4]
______________________________
*Two of the names
of the 7 dwarfs in
'Snow White'. I can't
remember the other
ones. That's what
happens after 45;
see how much you have
to look forward to?
**Once, for dinner,
I plopped some generic
crunchy peanut butter
on a stale hotdog bun,
and grabbed a bottle
of Walmart Black Cherry Soda.
(Hey! It had PROTEIN!)
____________
(Author afterthought: I think
one of 'em was Sneezy.)
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