Encouragement

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For everything
there is
a season,
and a time
for every matter
under Heaven.
[Ecclesiastes 3:1]
************************
"LORD?
Can You ........
unplug my TOILET?"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"HUH?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"I was gonna ask You
to send angel MICHAEL
down to HELP!"

[PATIENT FROWN.]

"But......I've asked Ya
that, BEFORE........"

[PATIENT NOD.]

"Yeah!
(Kvetchy look.)
And.....Ya WOULDN'T!"

"No, Mein kinder."

"Uh, UH!"

[PATIENT NOD.]

"Even though,
he's a JEWISH
archangel?
(Smile up at floor lamp shade.)
And.....I'm one a'
his KINDRED?"

[PATIENTLY SHAKE HEAD.]
[WISE LOOK.]
"Uh uh."

(Smile!)
"Hey.......LORD?"

"What, Mein kinder."

"Is that TRUE?"

"What."

"That SAYING?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Ya know: that.....
this TOO shall
PASS?"

[NOD.]

"Did YOU say
that, LORD?"

"Look,
child."

'WHERE?"

[PATIENT GAZE.]
"Read My Word,
My precious."

(Impatient frown.)
"Eh.......I'm too lazy.
(Squirm.)
Can't Ya just
TELL me?"

"No.
[GENTLE FROWN.]
Read My Word."

(Mumble.)
"Yeah......
(Murmur.)
I'll look it up online."

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"Hey......LORD?
I made a LIST here
of things that will
always........PASS!
(Smile up at ceiling.)
Are Ya LISTENING?"

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Go on."
[SIGH.]

"Okay.
(Thoughtful squint.)
(Sip of Walmart orange drink.)
(Very intellectual squint.)
(Pet scruffy, impurely bred cat.)
(Take another sip of sugary orange drink.)
Here goes:

PLUGGED UP TOILETS!
SADNESS!
LONELINESS!
GRIEF!
DISEASE!
PAIN!
NAUSEA!
BROKEN BONES!
SPRAINED ANKLES!
SURGERY!
SENSUAL PLEASURE!
HEARTBURN!
ACID REFLUX!
NATIONAL ELECTIONS!
GASY STOMACH!
CRYING!
TEARS!
AGGRAVATION!
DIVORCE!
DESPAIR!
HURRICANES!
EARTHQUAKES!
WAR!
DEATH!
and the worst........
CONSTIPATION!"

[WISE ALL KNOWING NOD.]
"Yes, My child."

"YEAH!"

[PAUSE.]
"But for One Thing,
My child."

"YEAH?
(Yell up at air conditioning vent.)
What's THAT?
TAXES?"

[PATIENT LOOK.]
"No, My child."

"Eh........
(Squint.)
dirty.... LITTER BOXES?"

[PATIENT GAZE OF A LOVING FATHER.]

(Sassy smile.)
(Squint.)
(Squirm.)
"Eh...............
eh.......
Your JUDGMENT?"

[NOD.]

(More squirming.)
"Uh oh."

[LONG PAUSE.]

"Uh oh."

[NOD.]
"Good, child.
Now, read
My Word."
*********************
The first angel
blew his trumpet,
and there followed
hail and
fire,
mixed with blood,
which fell
on the earth;
and a third
of the earth
was burnt up.
[Revelation 8:7]

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(Author's note:
According to Wikipedia,
this saying originated
in the Hebrew language,
with King Solomon.
[Hey, I said I was lazy.]
Actually, I think that
Adam was the first one
to say it. Yeah; he
said it, as he looked
back at the angels,
standing in front of
the Garden Gates holding
the flame torches aloft.
He said:
"Don't worry about it,
Eve! This'll....PASS!")

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