Humor

---

Hi! I'm your telephone. You know me as "Tele" for short. Well at least most do. Others have given me their own special names like "Ma Bell". I was named after my father; my creator; Alexander Graham Bell. He really wanted a boy; but out I came! He dreamed of introducing me to you one day. He was so passionate about me! Spent countless hours going over every integral detail of what makes me tick. Or if you want to be more "politically" correct. What makes me ring.

Of course; as time progressed, I was brilliantly reproduced in compact form. Little miniature instruments that you all know as "Cell"... It's short for Cellular Phone. I wanted to call him baby Tele; but nothing ever came of it. Nonetheless; he's baby Tele to me. I feel like such a proud Mama. Watching as my offspring carries on the family business.

From time to time, I've even been christened with strange names like this one; the "blower". I often wondered if they were trying to crossbreed me with the blow dryer? Since both of us, seem to exhale a lot of hot air on a regular basis. Regardless; I answer to just about any name someone calls me. I'm pretty easy going, in that respect.

Most folks think they can't live without me. Oh heavens! They will go to just about any lengths and pay just about any price, to make sure that I'm an integral part of their daily lives. I've seen them fight over who gets to use me first. So much so, that I've endure countless cracked heads, and my spiral cord has been yanked out of my socket so many times, I can't begin to tell you how many hernias that I have gotten! Ouch! That hurt!!!

I seem to make most folks lives easier. Or so they say. They request my assistance for various needs. I will help them call ahead for reservations. I also get the opportunity to check up on a friend or two. Yet before I was born; there were lots more opportunities to have face-to-face conversations with folks. More efforts to utilize Mr. and Mrs. Pen and Paper. And my cousin Mr. Auto, well; he had so much more enjoyment escorting his passengers to family gatherings and listening to funny stories of how Aunt Bessie told of how Uncle Lou, got his finger stuck in the water socket. Nowadays; he spends most of his time, chucking down Tylenol to get rid of his throbbing headache; while listening to the screams and stresses of how Bobby will be late for soccer practice again, because little Jimmy hid his shoes in the kitty litter box! Ugh!!! (Sigh...)

Mr. and Mrs. Pen and Paper have all but gone into retirement these days. For they have now been replaced by yet a new arrival; Daddy computer. The amazing things Daddy can do; would just boggle your mind! In fact; I have been reduced to a small microchip, where Daddy computer and me have joined forces and I now have the ability to speak through him. Kind of like a medium holding a séance and you get to watch a sequel from the movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", all over again!

I have even been subjected to wearing many hats. Some; I never expected. Like for instance. I'm used a lot as jewelry. Some wear me as a decorative adornment for their belts. Others like to wear me as a fashionable earring. You know. You've seen my owners running around with me glued to their ears!

I am even given a face-lift from time to time. They call them portable masks. I can wear yellow one day, red, and even black the next. Heck... Sometimes, my owners will go so far as to make me sparkle with glitter. You sure can't miss me. I look like a cheap hooker trying to turn a trick! Regardless of my posterity. I still don't mind much. I know my owners are totally in love with me. I ought to know. Most will spend more time with me, than they do with their own families.

Ring, ring... Oh dear; looks like I gotta run! There is one drawback to my job. I can get interrupted at the most inopportune time and well...my owners can become very annoyed if I don't pick up rather quickly! We'll have to talk later... Kiss! Kiss!

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE