Humor

---

STAMPEDE BREAKFAST


I went to a Stampede breakfast once
The place was rather full
The cowboys got a talking about
How to ride a bull

I never saw the animal
Of the which they did describe
But I'd seen a cow before
How hard could that be to ride

Then there was an announcement
Over the microphone that day
Fifty thousand dollars and a truck to be given
To the bull rider who could stay

On that bulky animal
For a few small seconds
I was starting to think,
"I reckon, I reckon, I reckon!"

I reckon I could stay
On that animals back
Come away with fifty thousand
And a brand new truck

Say "Where do I sign up?"
Said I to the fella
I was gonna let them know
I for one wasn't yella

He pointed to the direction of
A stall across the way
I had already opened my big mouth
Too yella to turn away

That bull he was a monster
Bigger than any cow
I had seen in my lifetime
Mouth opened, I pondered "WOW!"

What was I a thinkin
Just on an egg or two
What a powerful breakfast
This had led me too

I think I've got indigestion
But what a feeble excuse
Tell that to the fellas
No that wouldn't do

"Put your name down here sir."
Handing me the pen
And I without any feeling
Took it in my hand

Where do I sign
I found myself a sayin
And all the while, while
I was definitely, praying

Dear God what have I done
To deserve to ride on top
Of an animal named Cruncher
My hearts about to drop

With the other cowboys smiling
Wider than I've ever seen
I awaited my appointment with
My Maker now it seemed

I took up my position
In the lineup with the men
And totally felt uncomfortable
In my jeans and shirt of denim

For the first time in my life
I would never feel the same
As I waited in anticipation
For the calling of my name

Sweat had started to gather
On this cowboys brow
Hands in my back pockets
Stilled with the thought of "WOW"

Now it was me and Cruncher
Going down to the wire
The count stood at six seconds
I prayed to make it higher

I hung on to a job once
It lasted quite awhile
With that thought in process
My face took on a smile

There I sat on Cruncher
Waiting for the gun
Then out of the chute full tilt
Cruncher began his run

Bucking and a shifting
To this side and that
Cruncher did his number
While on his back I sat

"Hey, I can do this,
I can do this, did I reckon!"
Suddenly I was air bound
But timed out seven seconds

I won the fifty thousand
And drove home in my truck
When the accolades came to me
I shifted and said "aw shucks"

It was really nothing
As to what you saw me do
The Good Lord He was a with me
To ride this bull on through

Copyright Gary James Smith
July 7, 2008

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE