Healthy Living

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Behold,
I will plague all your country
with frogs;
the Nile shall swarm with frogs
which shall come up into
your house.....
into your ovens
and
your kneading bowls.....
[Exodus 8:3]
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"Lord?"

"Yes, child?"

"My microwave went kappuie
on me, yesterday."

[SOLEMN NOD.]

"It was a Panasonic, and
only 3 years old."

[PATIENT NOD.]

"The worst thing about having
to get another microwave,
is tryin' to figure out
what to do with the OLD one.
It's a real dilemna:
Should I keep it?
Maybe, I could
USE it for somethin'?
But, WHAT could I use
it for: perhaps,
turn it UPSIDE down,
stick a PLANT on it?
Hot glue some pretty
material on it, and
use it as a JEWELRY box?
Keep my receipts, for the IRS,
in IT?
Keep it just in case my head
gets real small, and I
wanna commit SUICIDE?
WHAT?
WHAT?"

[PATIENT NOD.]
[VERY PATIENT SIGH.]

"Did'Ya see what I DID, Lord?"

"Yes, My precious."

(laugh!)
"Yeah....I dragged that darn
thing out by its cord,
across my lawn, to the
curb, and LEFT it, there!"

[NOD.]

"Well, the garbage guys hadn't
come, yet, and I figured either
they would pick it up, or
maybe, one 'a my neighbors would."

[PATIENT NODDING OF A LOVING FATHER.]

"I thought these things
were supposed to last,
You know, like, 20 years
or somethin?"

"No, My precious."

"Oh? But, LORD!
What do YOU know
about MICROWAVES?
They weren't around
in Your DAY!"

"Child, Who AM I?"

"Eh.....the One didn't let
me logon to my FaithWriters
page for 2 DAYS?"

"Why, My precious?"

"Eh......because You
needed a break from
all my KVETCHING?"

[CHUCKLE.]
"No!"

"Eh.....because You wanted
me to concentrate on
my Isaiah HOMEWORK?"

"Perhaps, but what is
more important?"

"Eh.....that I needed to go over
to Walmart, and get a new
microwave - that ISN'T
a PANASONIC?"

[SMILE.]
"No. Something more
important than that,
My beloved."

"What ELSE could be
MORE IMPORTANT
than replacing my beloved
MICROWAVE?"

"Your Lord,
My child."

"Well.......hey, Lord;
I could NEVER replace
YOU!"

"Why, My precious?"

"Eh.....because You're
the CREATOR of
the MICROWAVE?"

[LAUGH!]
[NOD.]
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On the sixth day,
they gathered
twice as much bread,
two omers apiece;
and when all the leaders
of the congregation
came and told Moses,
he said to them......
Tomorrow is a day of
solemn rest....bake what
you will bake and
boil what you will boil,
and all that is left
over lay by to be
kept till the morning.
[Exodus 16:22-23]

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