Marriage

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Dear Beloved,

I'm so sorry, we had a misunderstanding. Are there any words that will make you understand how I feel? How can I tell you, if you keep pulling away? Maybe you don’t mean to but that’s the way it feels to me. This doesn't not make me happy. I want to be closer and as you know, it’s hard enough as it is. We need to make it better. Why can’t we?

Maybe words can never be enough. I can appreciate that. I’m ready to settle for something better. How about you? If I've hurt you, I'm sorry. God brought us together. Don't you agree? Please forgive me. I do love you and I always will.

I wish I could reach out and touch you. In my Soul, you are here with me always but you need that physical touch and maybe I need it too but those moments will come. I am sure of it. These are indeed bitter sweet memories. I’ve experienced far too many of them and so have you. But it is better to feel the sorrow of love sometimes, than not to feel love at all. Don’t you agree that it would be a terrible life if we never felt the tender caresses of love again, no matter how illusionary it may seem to us right now?

We were so in love once. We can’t keep that moment forever but we can try and get it back as often as we can. Half the glory of being in love is wanting to experience it, all the time. That must be a personal and intense desire. No one else can feel it for us.

Even when we're together,we will have some moments of pain. Every relationship has those but I know our love is strong enough to see us through anything. If we can both realize that and be determined to stay together,we will have most of the problems solved. It’s when we’re not together in heart, soul and spirit, that we really have problems and then they begin to build up. If we were smart we’d stop stop and think right then but we never seem to do that.

Please write to me. If these letters to each other serve any purpose, then it’s to be able to express these things to each other without any shame or embarrassment. How can I know if you’re going to reject me or not? Love never assures us of this and I’m afraid to take the chance of losing you. Is that how you feel sometimes? How does anybody stay together? Sometimes I really wonder about this.

I’m only reminding you here, of how I feel. I don’t expect you to think like me and you can’t expect me to think like you. We may look at love a little differently. It’s not that easy to let go and let yourself feel too intensely. With the right desires though and with enough encouragement from each other, we can do it. I feel afraid…just as you do.

Do you really have any faith in me? Do you measure it by your faith in yourself? We may both feel uncertain but we must have faith in love itself. What else can feel so good? Not much…

Love can hurt us if we allow negativity to sink into our relationship. I'm sorry. I’ve already said that but love is worth the pain. If we truly love each other, we can make it with the help of God, of course. Without Him, there is no purpose in anything.

We have always done things together. I believe God will answer our prayers. So I will throw myself on His mercy, because I love you so much. Please let me back in your heart, so we can be together again.

Written by Anita Thomas

Copyright 2004

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