Women

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Now Rachel had taken the
household gods
and put them in the
camel's saddle,
and sat upon them.
Laban felt all about the
tent, but did not find them.
And she said to her father,
Let not my lord be angry
that I cannot rise before
you, for the way of women
is upon me.
[Genesis 31:34-35]
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"Is THAT what women did
in those days, Lord?"

"What, My precious."

"Sit on a CAMEL'S saddle?
ECH!"

[LAUGH.]

"'Doesn't sound very
COMFORTABLE."

[SMILE.]

"ECH.
What was THAT supposed to
do?"

"Read It again, child."

"Yeah, okay:

So he searched,
but did not find the
household gods.
[Genesis 31:35]

Oh, I see. So, Rachel
was tryin' to hide those
little idols she took
from her dad's tent."

[NOD.]

"I see.
(thoughtful silence)
But, what did ladies
DO in those days,
anyhow?"

"Ah. What they always
did, child."

"Eh......'Ya mean, go to
WALGREENS?"

[PATIENT SMILE.]

"Eh, I guess NOT.
So, what'd they DO?
I don't think any 'a
that stuff was invented
till, like.......around the
time 'a WW2."

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Ech! How DISGUSTING!
ECH! What did they DO,
anyhow?"

"It is life, child."

"Yeah, but.......ech: and,
they had ta' sit on those
CAMELS, all day?
ECH! ECH!"

[LAUGH!]
"No, child!"

"How disgusting.
What'd they do:
sit in the DIRT?
ECH!"

"They had their ways,
just as you have yours."

"What, Lord:
stop at WALMART,
on the way home?
Really, Lord;
those poor WOMEN!
How truly DISGUSTING!"

"Perhaps, they would
think the same......for YOU."

"HUH? No WAY!
We got all these COMFORTS,
now, Lord! Air conditioning,
toilet paper.....eh...KOTEX,
MORE toilet paper...
no TENTS....
NO CAMELS...."

[LAUGH!]

"Frankly, just the TOILET
paper, ALONE,
was worth 6,000 years
of waitin' to be BORN!"

[SMILE.]

"But, why would those
ladies feel sorry for US?
I don't UNDERSTAND?"

"Because, My child.....
the ways of the world."

"Oh. You mean like
all that nasty stuff,
on TELEVISION?"

[NOD.]

"Yeah. I think it's pretty
demeaning, too. Like,
those desperado housewives:
they make women look like
a bunch 'a idiots.
Perhaps, we haven't
come such a long way, after all."

[SILENCE.]

"Yeah, but 'Ya never know,
Lord. We might just have one
in the WHITE HOUSE,
pretty soon! 'Ya just
never KNOW!"

[SMILE!]
"I don't, My precious?"

"Oh, yeah.
I forgot, Lord.
You DO know everything,
DON'T YOU?"

[NOD.]
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If a woman has a discharge
of blood for many days,
not at the time of her impurity....
But if she is cleansed of her discharge,
she shall count for herself
seven days......
And on the eighth day,
she shall take two
turtledoves, or
two young pigeons,
and bring them to the priest
to the door of the tent
of meeting.
And the priest shall offer one
for a sin offering
and the other
for a burnt offering....
[Leviticus 15:25-30]
____________________________
(Author's note: for those
of you gals under the age 'a
35, 'WW2' refers to the
1940's.)

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