Prayers

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And what profit do we get
if we pray to Him?
[Job 21:15]
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"Hey, Lord?"

"What, My beloved."

"HEY! You're not real high
on MY list, either today, LORD!
So, let's not get STARTED!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"To be honest, this whole WEEK......"

"Child, to Whom are you speaking?"

"Eh........The Inventor of the
volcano?"

[NOD.]

"I once had a chance to fly over
a volcano, Lord, but I was afraid to."

[NOD.]

"Plus, I knew I'd throw up in the
helicopter."

[NOD.]

"Also it was, like, 300 bucks per
person, or something. Really
ridiculous."

[PATIENT NOD.]

"Can You believe it, Lord?
300 dollars just 'ta get a chance to
throw up, and be scared to death?"

"Yes, My precious."

"I guess that's nothin' compared
to folks paying 10,000 shekels,
just to schleppe up to Mt. Everest, and
freeze to death. It's a wonder, Lord."

"Yes, child."

"Do you just freeze, or suffocate
to death up there, Lord?
I was never sure of that."

"Both. Why, child?
Are you planning on vacationing, there?"

"Not me, Lord!
You know ME: my idea of
adventure is watching 'Dancing with the Stars',
while eating popcorn melted with
chocolate bits."

[NOD.]

"Anyway, what was I talking about?
Oh, yeah: the fact that You weren't
high on my list, this week."

"I know, My precious."

"BESIDES that, I just had a
question about praying, Lord."

"What is it, My child."

"What's, like, the cutoff time,
for a prayer request?"

[LAUGH.]

"Hey, listen Lord, I'm serious!
Like, how often do we pray for somthin'
before - kapuuie- that's it - bupkis -
(blow a raspberry) - that's it -
forget about it....?"

"Child, if you blow a raspberry at Me,
one more time....."

"Oh, Lord! You know I was just
teasin'!"

"Not always, precious."

"Eh.....well, eh......
let's forget about that."

[OMINOUS SILENCE.]

"Anyhow, about this prayer business...."

"Child, one day I shall teach you
to be more reverent."

"WHAT? What, Lord?
What did I do NOW?"

[MORE OMINOUS SILENCE.]

"Oh. Well......I didn't know
You knew about THAT."

"I know everything, child."

"Yeah. Well, eh........(clearing throat)
yeah, uh......okay. Anyway, about
this prayer time."

"Go on, My precious."

"Well, just what IS the cutoff
time, Lord? I mean, how often
are we supposed to give a request,
before....Ya know: that's IT?"

"WHAT'S it, child."

"You know: SPLAT. DONE.
GONE: just FORGET about it."

"Ah, I see."

"Well? What about it?
How long should we give a
particular prayer request, Lord?
A week?
A month?
Couple a' hours?
One lunar CYCLE?
A lunar ECLIPSE?"

[SMILE.]

"A nano second?
The time it takes for a
text message to go through?
WHAT, LORD?"

"You tell ME, child."

(thoughtful silence
much frowning and squinting)
"Well, I think, Ya know, it
DEPENDS, Lord. I mean,
it really depends on the whole
situation......there's just a lot 'a
factors involved, here.
Ya know what I mean?"

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Go on, My beloved."

"Well, there's, like, the
number of PEOPLE involved,
the time of the DAY, whether
it's a FINANCIAL issue, or
a MEDICAL issue.......then, of
course, there's just the whole
issue about PATIENCE...."

"PATIENCE, child?"

"Well, You know, Lord,
humans tend towards being
very.......IMPATIENT."

"This is true, child."

"Yeah, but............"

"Read My Word, child."

"This part? Okay:

And you shall love
the Lord your God
with all your heart,
and with all your soul,
and with all your might.
[Deuteronomy 6:5]"

[SILENCE.]
"Tell Me, child:
how often should you pray?"

"You mean, about ANYTHING,
Lord?"

[NOD.]

"Well, I guess.......
all the time?"

[NOD.]
"With all your might, child.
With all your soul."
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My servant Job shall pray
for you,
for I will accept his prayer.
[Job 42:8]

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