Bible Studies

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Then spoke Joshua to the Lord
in the day when the Lord
gave the Amorites over the men
of Israel....
Sun stand thou still at Gibeon,
and thou Moon in the valley of Aijalon.
and the sun stood still, and
the moon stayed.....
[Joshua 10:12-13]
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"Lord?"

"Yes, child."

"How come Joshua got HIS
prayers answered, so fast?"

[SILENCE.]

"Huh? How COME?"

[SILENCE.]

"You know, Lord,
I WOULDN'T ask You
to do somethin' like that.
I think that's a little over
the TOP."

"Why, child."

"'Cuz.
Ya know, I don't pray for hard stuff,
like THAT. How come You don't
answer MY prayers?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Well.....You know, not ALL
the time, Lord."

[NOD.]

"Actually, not most of the time.
Like, what's a percentage?"

[SILENCE.]

"Okay. Then, I'll do it.
Let's see......how 'bout, like,
18% of the time?
16%...
14 1/2%...
13%?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"I bet......about only 12% of
people's prayers, are answered
all the time; huh, Lord?"

"What is important, child?"

"Eh.....that we get as many
prayers answered, as we can?"

"No, child.
Tell Me."

"Well......eh, that we don't
ask for stuff, like, gettin'
the hours of the day to be
LONGER?"

"No, child."

"Uh, that eh.......we only ask
for the GOOD stuff;
Ya know, like, if it goes
with the Ten Commandments?"

[SILENCE.]

"Eh.........if we only ask for
stuff that's scientifically
rational, and universally,
and politically correct,
and acceptable?"

[LAUGH.]
"No, My precious."

"I dunno', LORD!
Come on; 'gimme a hint.
I've had a long day!
Oops.
I didn't mean to make a pun, Lord."

[SMILE.]
"Tell Me, child.
What is important?"

"That we pray for...."

"No, child."

"That we pray?"

[NOD.]
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Is this not written in the Book of Jashar?
The sun stayed in the midst of heaven,
and did not hasten to go down
for about a whole day.
There has been no day like it
before or since,
when the Lord hearkened
to the voice of a man;
for the Lord fought for Israel.
[Joshua 10:13-14]

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For everyone who's married....
to their dog or cat.

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