Gospel

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[Author's note: The reference to
the polar bears is very important.
I've been nudging the Lord to
do something about their melting
ice floes.]
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....when you pray,
go into your room
and shut the door
and pray to your Father
Who is in secret.....
[Matthew 6:6]
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"Lord?"

[SILENCE.]

"LORD!"

[SILENCE.]

"AW, COME ON, LORD!
GIMME'A BREAK!"

[SILENCE.]
"Child, where were you born?"

"Huh?
Eh.....well, it was a township........eh,
on the eastern side 'a Pennsylvania.
I think it was north of Philly, but I'm
not sure, Lord. What with my
sense of direction, it could've
been north of Manitoba......
isn't that that town in Canada
where the polar bears come to
feed?"

[RUMBLE.]

"What, Lord? Oh, I'm sorry;
I didn't mean to bring up the
polar bears again. Just forget
I mentioned them...........
well, let's see: I really grew up in West Oak Lane;
it wasn't far from Cheltanham Avenue,
although, Vernon Road was closer -
particularly if 'ya just had ta'
pick up some milk, or a package of
roast beef ......"

[RUMBLE.]

"WHAT? I don't understand, Lord?
Why are You askin' me this stuff?
What: do 'Ya have to add something
to my book?"

"What book, child."

"I 'dunno; the Christians say we've all
got this, 'Ya know: BOOK.
The Jews do, too: it's called
the Book of Life, or somthin'."

[NOD.]

"What's a'matter, Lord;
'Ya can't remember where I
was born?"

"I remember, My precious.
I wanted to remind YOU."

"How come, Lord.
Hey, You know I'm still a
fan of the Phillies!
That'll never CHANGE!"

"Is this how you were
taught to speak to Me?"

"Oops."

[SILENCE.]

"Uh.......oy."

"I'm waiting."

"For what, Lord."

"For you to speak to Me,
the way you were taught."

"You mean in HEBREW?
Please, Lord; I've already
GOT indigestion, right now."

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"What's 'a matter;
do 'Ya want me to talk
to You, in SPANISH?
Te amo?"

"Child, finish reading for Me."

"Oh. Okay, Lord.
Sure thing."
(silence)
Lord?"

"Yes, child?"

"What d'Ya want me
to do, after that?"

"Read It again, My precious."
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Pray then like this:
Our Father Who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name,
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
And, forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors;
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom
and the power and the glory
forever. Amen.
[Matthew 6:9-13]

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