Bible Studies

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Enoch walked with God
after the birth of Methuselah
three hundred years,
and had other sons and daughters.
Thus all the days of Enoch
were three hundred
and sixty-five years.
[Genesis 5:21-24]
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"That's weird."

(silence)

"Hey, Lord?
Wasn't Methuselah
the lady with all the
snakes in her hair?"

"Different story."

"Yeah; I think that
was Greek, or somethin'."

(silence)
"So, Lord, what was
with this guy?
Why did he live so long?"

[SILENCE.]

"Everybody asks that,
You know:
how did guys live so
long, back then?"

"It is a mystery, child."

"Yeah, but.........
how come? I mean,
what did those guys have,
that we don't?"

[SILENCE.]

"What made THEM so great?
I can't believe that guy
was having kids at age 300.
[laugh]
He was quite the viral type, huh."

"Careful, child."

[laugh]
"What kind of beans did they
have, back then?
[laugh]
It was the beans, wasn't it.
You don't have to say anything, Lord.
I know that was it."

"How do you know, My precious."

"'Cuz."

[SMILE.]

"Wasn't Noah, like, 900,
or something, when he built
the Ark?"

"Tell Me, child."

"Here it is:

Noah was six hundred years
when the flood waters
came upon the earth....
in the six hundredth year
of Noah's life, in the
second month,
on the seventeenth day....
on that day all the
fountains of the great deep
burst forth,
and the windows of the
heavens were opened.
[Genesis 7:6-11]

Here's more, Lord:

After the flood,
Noah lived three hundred
and fifty years.
All the days of Noah
were nine hundred
and fifty years,
and he died.
[Genesis 9:28-29]"

[NOD.]

"Lord, I don't think
You should have
put that part in about
Noah getting drunk
in his tent.
That wasn't fair."

"Why, child."

"Because....!
Poor guy - hadn't he
been through enough:
putting up with
all that ridicule,
and dusty lumber,
and all those animals -
couped up for God only
knows HOW long....."

"Yes. I do."

"Right! That's what I mean!
Exactly!
Don't You think he
deserved one moment
of drunkedness?
The rest of us would
have allowed him that."

"No."

"Sometimes, I think
You're a little too hard,
Lord."

"Yes, I know."

"And, most people
don't know that
Noah was the first
vineyardest.
He should have
opened a restaurant."

[PATIENT SILENCE]

"They could have
called it,
'The Floodwater'."

"Yes, child."

"So, Lord?
How come You
don't let US
live that long,
nowadays?"

"'Cuz."

(smile)
"I know why."

"Why, My beloved."

"'Cuz,
seventy years
of our griping
is enough!"

[NOD.]
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Noah was the first tiller
of the soil.
[Genesis 9:20]

[Author's note: I looked
it up: her name was
Medusa.]

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