Poetry

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THE RESURRECTED HEART

Pain smiled up at me from a crack in my heart
I glanced at it unable to determine its origin
I studied it more clearly and saw that it has always been there
Hiding in corners and dodging words of truth that were sent to destroy it
I walked with my head down avoiding eyes that could see it
With deceptive silence I said no words that would uncover its existence
I continued telling myself that one day Pain would leave, it would tire of hiding
I would dispatch the army of self-righteousness and pharisaical attitudes
I would hope that somehow they could divert Pain’s agenda
Pain would pack the bags of broken dreams and rejection and raise its flag of surrender
But the reality herein lies – Pain only grew bigger
It no longer hid in corners
It no longer dodged the words of truth
Pain became offensive
Pain rattled the chains of bondage and fear and boisterously announced it wasn’t leaving Pain controlled my thoughts and dictated my speech
And when at last I thought that Pain would never leave – there You were
With fire burning hot and clear You held it in your hand and applied it to my heart
Pain coiled in terror and made one last effort to hide, but the fire was too hot
And as I began to smile at the thought that Pain would finally leave
I noticed that the thoughts and fears left behind by Pain only kindled the fire You started
I kicked and screamed and balled my fists in tantrums that only You could have endured
I begged for Pain to return and for Your fire to be extinguished
I longed for how it used to be
And when at last I thought the fire would destroy me – there You were
I sighed in great relief at the sight of Your face
Yet you delicately blew upon the flames and in my confusion and anger I denied who You were
I gave up my army of self-righteousness and pharisaical attitudes
I no longer desired great position or titles before my name
I no longer needed to give prophetic words or raise my hands to appear holy before man
I gave up my reputation and was reduced to nothingness
As I abandoned myself to the purifying power of the flames a beautiful mystery began to take place
I no longer existed
Pain, rejection and selfishness were destroyed in the white hot flames
Replacing them was a heart I barely recognized
A resurrected heart
Your heart
Romans 8:18
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

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